Wow, I have to say that the winter blues have officially hit me, and hit me harder than I can ever remember. I had a little breakdown on Sunday with my husband. I told him I'm just feel so blah and bored in life. I feel like my every day is a routine from the moment I wake up this the moment I go to sleep. I literally do the same things every single day with dealing with my kids to what I do at work everyday. I am bored and I need a change, not sure what time of change, but something better happen very, very soon. I am still waiting for that change to come 2 days later and will let you know when it comes.
As for weight loss it is more like weight gain for me. I have no idea what is wrong with me but I have been severally shoving food in my mouth like I am hungry and sadly I am not. I know that because of this I have put some poundage one and wouldn't doubt if it is about 20 extra pounds since I last posted. I wouldn't know for sure though because I have not stepped foot onto the scale since my last weigh in. How do I know I gained weight then you ask.... well I feel it and see it in my clothing fitting me tighter. My belly has grown to an abnormal size (for me at least) and it literally looks like I'm probably 8 months pregnant. I am probably as big if not bigger then I was when I had Jake. I wouldn't be surprised if I was back up to 300 lbs right now.
I have started snoring because of this extra weight and yes even when I sleep on my sides I snore (I can only sleep on my sides since my back surgeries). I haven't been sleeping well since I realized I have been snoring and I actually wake myself up from it. I don't sleep well because I am so afraid I am bothering my husband and after the more horrible life event that I lived through with him a few weeks ago that is the last thing I want to do, is keep him up, so I've been in a very light sleep so I can catch myself snoring and try to change it. I am trying to change this and wish I could have an over night change but I know it didn't happen over night (even though the weight gain was withing a short period of time). I have also realized that I have only 70 days left before softball starts and if I do not loose 50 lbs before then I will not play this year, because I am way to big right now.
Anyways I went back to the gym last night and it felt good, but my belly still feels way to huge and I have lots of work to do. I realized how seriously FAT I am when I was doing leg presses and my stomach was in my way and making me not get them done correctly. Then because of my stomach I didn't even bother trying to lay on my stomach and do hamstring workouts.
I am going back to the gym tonight no matter how tired I feel right now. We lost electricity about 2:45 am last night due to the winter storm and it came back on about 5:30 am and for some reason I was awake most of that time.
Anyways, this was a fast post gotta get a report done before I leave work today, will try to do more updating about what has been going on in my life tomorrow.
Until next time...........................
Stay ACTIVE
Jennie
