My dinner choice today

I just wanted to do a quick post on my meals today b/c I'm mostly impressed with my dinner choice.  

Breakfast I had Naturade total Soy protien shake total 130 cal per serving which is 2 servings. Has a decent 13g of protien. 

Lunch I had two large white hard boiled eggs 140 cal for both and wheat toast (2 slices) 160 cal so my total lunch was 300 cal

Dinner I made white chicken breast (1 med size breast) meat only roasted   142 cal stuffed with turkey bacon (3 slices plus 3 more I snuck while cooking) 210 cal & shredded moz cheese (1/4 cup) 80 cal.  My side dish was instant brown rice (1 cup cooked) 170 cal mixed in steamed mixed veggies (4oz) 300 cal.  Total dinner was 632 cal.  

Snack was plain almonds (12) 182 cal

My total daily calories was 1,194.  I'd say that's not bad considering I burned 1,086 calories in my workout today.

Also just for fun here is a picture of my husband and I from a wedding on 10/19.  Lots of fun. 

Scale is my friend today :-)

I decided to get on the scale again today just to see what's going on with my diet changes & I was so happy that I was down to 245.8 lbs, but I'm not going to record my number until next week.  I know how your weight can flucuate every day.  

Well this is a type & go post cuz I have to go get ready for the gym.  Oh & yes I'm still desperately job searching & the stress it killing my diet.  I know, I know I need to relax & it'll come when expected (damn that sounds like what I heard over & over when we were trying to get pregnant the first time) but what people don't understand is that is much easier said then done.  

Well until next time...........

Back in the grind!

I started back to the gym on Tuesday (yesterday), I did not go on Monday & I really had no great excuse as to why, I was just lazy.  I had upper body day yesterday & lower body today.  I absolutely love working my legs out, but today I had to skip the leg press & the squats b/c the machine never freed up in the 45 mins I was doing my strength training, Boo hoo.  Today I was on a time crunch b/c I had to pick the twins up from preschool at 11am so I couldn't wait around waiting for the machine to free up.  Well I'll just have to work them extra hard come Friday.  

Well I weighed myself yesterday (boy was I avoiding the scale for over a week now)  I am at 247.6 which means I've gained 7lbs, UGH!!!  So I'm seriously amping up  my diet & workout b/c I only have 47 more pounds to reach my goal weight & in all honesty I should have been there at the beginning of this past Summer if I continued losing 2lbs a week like I was (see weight tab) then all of sudden it just STOPPED!  I need to get it back up & moving again like yesterday.  I also took photos of me yesterday in my sports bra & undies before I went to the gym & it is terrible embarrassing, but I'm going to post them b/c I need a push & if I embarrass myself then that will get me moving.  All the weight you'll be looking at came from the twin & my singleton pregnancies.  I have never ever had a stomach or at worst all this overhanging skin that I do now & that is my hardest problem area.  You can see the results from the 80lbs I have lost in the last 2 years from the sagging skin, which I hope beyond all hope that it will go away with the strength training b/c there is no way I'd ever be able to afford surgery to remove the skin.  I'm so affraid of what's it going to look like when I do loose all the fat, I know it'll still be healthier, but mentally it'll still take a toll on how I feel about myself.  I see all these fitness ladies that have had kids & their stomach looks awesome even some before/after pictures where they had the same "overhang" that I do & it gives me allot of encouragement & pushes me to do what I gotta do to get back to how I ounce was 8 years ago!!!  

Ok, here are the photos & I truly cannot wait till I can post this side by side with my "new & improved" self Spring of next year!!!!!

November 5, 2013      247.6 lbs

These by far are the most embarrassing thing I have ever posted, but someone has to do it....  I really don't care what others think, but in a month or less I will post updated photos every month to watch my progress.  This is the whole reason for my blog is so I can keep track of my success or failer and improve on what needs to be or keep doing what I need to do.  

Until next time.......

Rest week

What can I say..... My knee started bothering me really bad again so I took this week off of working out & I'm going to start full force on Monday.  Hopefully this reset will get things going.  I have been under allot of stress & been very depressed lately.  I am so worried about money & us not affording our bills or being able to give the kids a Christmas this year & I'm still desperately job searching with no luck so far.  My doctor has me on two different types of anti-depressants and they are not helping.  He said if these don't work I'll have to go see a pychologist, ugh the last thing I'd wanna do.  They second medicine he put me on I do not like so far, I believe it's the cause of my insomina the past three days & I've got tons of acne on my face (like I'm back in gradeschool, but even then I never broke out this bad).  I feel more aggression & get agitated more easily then normal.  I also just feel out of it & sometimes like I'm drunk or something, sometimes I don't remember things b/c I feel out of it.  I do not like driving cuz again I feel like I'm driving drunk.  So today I cut that medicine out to see what happens.  I'm so sick of feeling this way, I truly wanna go back to being myself.  

Anyways, I've been seriously considering becoming a Beachbody Coach.  I have been reading up on it & know someone that is one and it all seems very encouraging, plus if I get good results then hopefully I can get people to sign up & start making money.  I'm going to try to remain opptomistic & really hope that this helps with my weightloss & workouts.  I already tried a week of Shakeology & the shakes are good & I notice the energy increase, but I was still really hungry before I got thru my workout.  Maybe if I am on it for more then a week it'll work better.  Also I know I've mentioned this numerous times before about changing my diet up I am definitely doing a revamp on everything I eat.  I just need to find food that is cheap but good, cuz we are alittle broke right now & I've realized to eat all the healthy foods & shop only on the outside displays (fresh foods) & not in the aisles where all the processed foods are that you have to have some type of money cuz it is a lot more expensive especially for a family of five.  

So starting Monday I am going to recharge my diet & workout & start to get serious about losing the remaining poundage... 

Here's to better tomorrows.....Until next time.

This weight isn't moving

Ok, I'm still frustrated and now starting to look for anything to get my weight to move again.  I am still going to the gym 5x a week and I do 45 mins of intense eliptical and then about 45 mins of strength training.  Last week I added in treadmill running for 30 mins straight every other day.  I have notice the run is easier since I've stopped smoking (it'll be 3 weeks this coming Thursday).  I'm hoping that maybe this will start the pounds to drop again, b/c it's literally been about 6 or more months since I saw the scale at 249, it's still going back & forth from 254-257 & I'm getting PISSED and I did measure my waist & such and nothing, absolutely NOTHING.  

Maybe I do need to have a serious diet make over or something.  I am to the point where I will take any suggestions at all to get this weight moving again, please.  Right now I cannot afford to go get any expensive foods or such because we are very tight on money (so no I still haven't found a job).  So I'm looking for advice on cheap easy meals or ideas.

I'm also thinking all this stress I'm under isn't helping me either.  I am still sending out resumes like crazy with no luck.  I'm just stressing so much about money & bills & with Christmas coming for the kids.  I feel like total shit that I couldn't plan a surprise 40th birthday party for my husband this Saturday (Oct 26th) like I really, really wanted to (I worried about him questioning why I was taking money out of the account for & not having an excuse, cuz I suck at lieing).  We are still having a party, but it's not even close to what I had planned in my head.  

With my personnal life the twins are three and my little one just turned two, so "Yes" my hands are full and they definitely keep me on my toes 24/7.  They constantly test my limits and see how much I can take, which isn't much anymore.  They are in the horrendious three's & terrible two's and let me tell you two's aren't as bad as everyone thinks.  They love to destroy everything and I mean everything from what they own to what mommy owns and what others own.  The twins are in preschool three days a week & I take the time to go to the gym with my little one (He goes in the playroom).  My gym time every day is my 2 hour break from reality & gives me time to relax & think about EVERYTHING!!  

Anywho, I just wanted to give a little update and let you know not much has changed since my last post, that's why I haven't posted in a while, but yeah, like I've said before I will try to do it more often and hopefully I will have more to tell.  

Until next time......................

I love my body!!!

"I love my body" yes I have to keep telling myself this to try to stay positive, but secretly I hate my body with a passion.  I have been going to the gym (Fitness 19, great place) for 3 months now & I've faithfully been going at least 5x a week, but my weight is still playing the yo yo game & going between 239-243.  I have been stuck at this weight literally all year.  Last year (as you see in my weight log) the lbs were coming off at least 2lbs a week.  I'm thinking it's seriously time to sit down & reconsider my diet & do some playing around with that until I find the solution.  I'm doing great at the gym & sweating my butt off, but well no results.  I do feel great & sometimes see results.  

I seriously don't know how to get rid of this huge baby pouch & all the extra skin coming along with it.  Will I ever be able to tighten it w/o surgery to remove it?  I swear especially after having twins my abdominal muscles are no longer in existence.  Some days my tummy looks flatter then all of sudden it looks like I'm bloated or pregnant again & hanging out.  I just don't know what to do with it.  

Off the weight/gym subject... I'm still seriously job searching & all that added stress is most definitely not helping with the weight loss.  I'm getting annoyed with sending all these damn resumes out w/ no results.  We are getting very low on cash & I desperately need to get back to work, cuz I don't want to end up in serious money issues.  I know there has to be something out there that I qualify for, something.  I have such a wide variety back ground, but it's not helping me.  

I have been under so much stress lately between money & job searching.  I feel like a horrible wife/mother.  Some days I just cry & cry cuz I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I guess I just want my life to be like a movie, where everything works out perfect in the end.  I have always dreamt of having a great family (which don't get me wrong I absolutely do) but where we do allot more stuff as a family & my DH was allot more interactive with us & willing to concentrate more on his family instead of pleasing himself.  I cannot remember the last time I have done anything for myself or bought myself anything.  I desperately need  new clothes with all my weight loss but I don't have the money, so I have to go around looking like a SLOB!!  I just hope things turn around for us & everything gets better cuz I don't know how much more stress I can handle.  I feel I'm losing or lost control of my kids & don't know what to do!!!

Well that about sums it up with what has been going on since last time I updated.  

Until next time....................  

So sorry!!!

I just realized it's been more then a month since I updated.  Nothing much has changed still going to the gym 5x a week & feeling great about it & the weight is SLOWLY coming off & I mean SLOWLY.  I have to really start watching my drinking & eating over the weekend cuz I know this is definitely not helping me.  

I'm still trying to find a dang job, UGH!!!  I will  update tomorrow with more of whats been happening since I last updated.  I have to run.  

Until then.......