Failed Part II

Well again I started doing Focus T25 and did awesome the first 4 days and then BAM I hit the damn wall.  I got tied up on things to do Friday evening and never get to do the double day work outs and I haven't tried the stretch video that is suppose to be done on Sundays.  UGH, I don't understand why my motivation will not last.  I get so pumped in the beginning and shoot I don't even get thru a week before I get put behind from life.  That also is no great excuse because the workouts are only 25 mins a day.  I've even tired getting up early in the AM to do it but I cannot resit the urge to hit that snooze button. 

I've got to figure out something because of right now I'm doomed to be fat & out of shape for the rest of my life & for someone that is a former athlete that is hard.  I have to figure out what works for me and obviously these videos or eating certain stuff just isn't my cup of tea.  I come to realize that going to the gym has always worked for me and it actually is something that I really enjoy to do.  I think it has to do with the fact that it makes me feel like I have to go & if I don't I'm letting someone down (even though it's just me I'd be letting down) but the gym has always given me that accountability.  The only problem now is with the gym I have to find time and I cannot have the kids with me, so with me working FT and the kids in school FT I would never see them if I went to the gym after work.   My only other option is to go after they go to bed & yes I will be later, but that might just work.  I've tried the before work but they don't open till 5am and my hubby leaves for work at 6:20-6:30 so I would only have about an hour to work out and I need at least 2 hours.  Who know maybe I'll start doing the after bed time gym time.  I stopped before because my hubby always made me feel so guilty about leaving and the kids weren't asleep yet, but I really think this my work.

Ugh, I've noticed I have gotten really lazy in my old age.  I am only 39 but my body hurts and I have absolutely no energy.  Gee, what I would do to get back what I had even 6-8 years ago.  Kids & age truly zap the energy out of you.  They weren't kidding there. 

Oh and another thing I was thinking of starting up was walking for an hour on the treadmill when watching my shows at night.  I figured its not like my running but it's a start and something.  I will have to get back and let you know what this lazy butt has decided to do. 

I am truly getting sick of looking at myself in the mirror.  I went out Friday night "Date Night" with the hubby with no kids for our 9th Anniversary and I was feeling a bit confident on some stuff I was going to wear out, but when I got home and put on my jeans (that usually are loose & I'm always pulling up) they felt tight in the butt/waist/thighs and then I put on a couple shirts and I felt like a fat ass slob!!  I felt disgusting (kinda like I'm feeling today).  My work clothes aren't fitting to comfy today so this morning I had Greek yogurt with granola and then a banana for mid morning snack & for lunch a chocolate Shakeology (with banana & almonds) and I had a small/medium size bowl of beef veggie & rice soup and I have been so bloated and feeling over stuffed since.  Then I craved and bought this candy corn cookie they had and OMG, so good, but officially put me over the edge to the point I cannot drink my water cuz there is no room.  Why do I torture my body, why oh why?!?!?!??! 

Well I gotta get going.  Until next time......