Happy 2015!!!

What's the saying... "New Year, New me?"  Isn't this what everyone says at the beginning of every year?  This year, I want to do something else, but it still is going to be along the lines of this saying.  I have been doing some serious thought and I truly need to come up with something for myself, something that will make me happy (well it'd be great if my family is happy too).  I am going to try to look at everything as positive and try to turn things that are not positive into a positive situation.  I am going to try to not scream at my kids so much and not to let the little things they do get to me.  They are after all KIDS!!  I will also not let my husband get at me as much either.  I know my life has a lot of stress currently and I know if I ever want to get back on the road to weight loss then I need to eliminate most of the stress in my life, and to do this is take what I have and make it better. 

It is really upsetting that my husband is going to be getting the gastric bi pass surgery within the next two months.  I personally don't see him as extremely obese (I see my self heavy and more disgusting looking then him).  But he has Type II, High BP and High cholesterol so he qualifies right away for the surgery.  What is devastating or flat out motivation killer is he doesn't diet now go to the gym & he gets the easy way out & I know he can lose the weight if he really wanted to without surgery, but he wants the quick fix.  I myself have joined Weight Watchers, tried so many different diets and pills and exercise programs and went to the gym 5x a week and Nothing, nothing at all.  I do not have (currently) any medical conditions (thankfully) but I am considered extremely obese.  I got on the scale this past Monday and Yep another 7.1 lbs gained within three weeks.  I was 267 on Monday, December 8th and am 274.1 on Monday, December 29.  WTH am I doing wrong, what is going on.  It's just so devastating and I wish I could get a medical professionals input on this.  Yes, I'm trying to watch what I eat & I know I can definitely get better with that and I'm trying to get to the gym more, or walk more.  I would absolutely love to get to the point where I can run again, I miss running.

I wish I could sit down with a nutrionalist to help me figure out my diet with me and explain to me what I'm doing dangerously and what I can improve more on.  My husband is getting the easy way out and I want something that's going to work for me too.  I filled out the application for the surgery, but haven't heard anything back from them.  I have a number to call, but I'm trying to wait until I'm not in the office so no one around me can hear me talk about this (sorta embarrassing). 

Oh and back to the positive outlook on 2015, well my weight loss goal will be positive.  I can feel it once I figure myself out again. 

Until next time..................