My Update - My struggles.

Hi, I promised I'd update so I'm going to do my best now. 

Well since my last update back on 1/22, I have gained, yep you read that right GAINED weight.  I packed on 3.8 lbs.  I weigh in tomorrow and feeling just a tad bit of confidence that I might, just might have lost something even if it's just .5 lbs, it's something.   Yes, I have realized that I am going the wrong way on the scale.   I'm truly not eating as healthy as I should and I blame it mostly on myself and this crappy weather we're having.  It's been in the negatives the past few days and other days just down right cold.  We actually broke a 111 year record for the coldest day in Ohio and Friday of this week is going to be the coldest on on record.  I'm so over this crap and truly want Summer to start like, tomorrow!  The reason I'm blaming the cold weather is because I want warm food, comforting foods, fating foods.  Who wants to eat a cold salad when you can have something warm and hearty to make you comfortable and warm?  I do really good with my diet while I'm at work so during breakfast and lunch, but when dinner comes it is a totally different story.  First, since DH gets home before me he has been cooking dinner and because of this he doesn't care about cooking healthy meals.  He just wants quick and easy.  When I cook I look for healthy and different recipes to mix things up.  Our eating habits have been slacking lately.  I kinda wish he'd leave the cooking to me, but then we would eat late and I have to do almost everything else myself (bathe & put kids to bed & clean up after dinner). 

I went and met with my regular doctor last Monday about my weight.  I was really hoping that he would prescribe me some weight loss medication, but he didn't. I kept going over and over again in my head exactly what I was going to say to him and that I was not going to get emotional over it.  Well when he walked into the room I only got 4 words out before I started bawling like a big baby.  Talk about embarrassing, OMG I cried the rest of the appointment.  I told him how when I was a SAHM for 2 years I faithfully went to the gym 2 hours a day 5 times a week and I watched what I ate and I would lose 5lbs and gain it right back the next week.  For over 2 years I was stuck between 250-255 and now I'm at a whopping 278.00, that's not how I wanted it to end up.  It gets very frustrating and makes you give up all hope when you try and bust your ass to have no results, none at all.  Seriously, I have gained 27 lbs since November 2014 when my father died.  What is up with that?!?!  I have lost all motivation that I even ever had.  Anyways, the appointment ended up with nothing.  I got nothing out of it.  He did refer me to a weight loss clinic through Parma Hospital Bariatric center (he's referred me before).  I called and made an appointment with their New Directions Program for Metabolic Weight loss clinic.  Now, I don't want to go through the surgery but I don't think I'd qualify anyways because thankfully I don't have any of the conditions you need to qualify except my BMI is about 39.5.  Yes, that's disgusting it's severally obese according to the charts.  So, I am going to their information meeting on 3/4/15 at 6pm.  I'm not sure what to expect and I'm really scared that this is going to cost lots of money and my insurance will not cover it.  I'm not getting my hopes up only to have them come crashing down. 

On another note.  My 40th birthday has come and gone (1/25).  I had a nice one.  The night before my DH surprised me with a mini party at a bar with a few close friends.  That was FUN times.  Then just this past weekend was the big surprise party (Yes, I knew about it cuz DH spilled the beans).  This party was a combination of mine and my neighbor Ron's 40th party.  He will be 40 on 2/25.  It was good times with great friends and family.  I'm glad it is all over and we don't have any more birthdays coming up until 9/26 which is Jake & he'll be 4.  Oh, the twins celebrated their 5th birthday on 2/5 and they had a party on Saturday 2/7 at  Strongsville Recreation Center.  It was swimming and playing with friends and they loved it. 

I was just trying to upload some photo's but it wasn't working right.  I'll try it later. 

Things have been rough lately and there are lots of things that need work on and things I need to make decisions on.  I need to make sure I'm happy because if I'm happy then the kids are happy and that is a number one goal.  Things are just so hard!

So that is an update for you and I think I said everything that's happened in the last few weeks.  Here is to nothing but happiness and weight loss in the up coming weeks.

Until next time......

Jennie

Updating

I want to say I will be updating soon.  I know it's been awhile and things on my end have been crazy, depressing, frustrating, fun since my last update.  I have been meaning to get on and say Hi and I promise within the next day or two I most definitely will. 

Hope everyone is doing well and staying warm in this crazy cold temperatures.

Until Next time....

Jennie