Stress Needs to Go!

I'm having a very hard time getting rid of all this built up stress, which is not helping with my weightloss one bit.  I'm not sure what needs to be done to get rid of it, but I know it'll take time and probably one thing at a time.  I know the number one thing is money ($$$) we are getting so far in debt because we have ran out of our savings, which is very scary.  We had a major expense hit us this weekend our furnance broke and it wasn't cheap to fix.  It's just one thing after another lately and I'm losing it.  I have never been faced with more bad luck then I have lately.  I'm so scared, confused and hoping we don't loose our house or anything major.  I need a job after all the resumes I've sent out something has to give.  I think I'm very close to have a nervous break down. Then other major things in my marriage and that are a complete struggle and I feel like I have absolutely no one there for me.  

Ok, I had to get that out.  I had to tell or write it down somewhere even if no one reads it, I at least got it out.  

Now for my fitness.  I took another week off last week, but I ate really good.  I went back to the gym today and feel great.  I've eaten good today (except for I baked cookies for my family and had a couple) but after dinner I'm going to get another quick round of cardio in and go for a run on the treadmill for either 20-30 mins (also relive stress).  I'm going to try to not take another week off unless my knee acts up again and I have no choice but to.  My weight may not be taking a huge nose dive like I'd like it to, but I can definitely tell in my measurements that I'm shaping up.  

Sunday at my parents house we were looking thru some old movies and came across one of me playing basketball for all the basketball teams reuinon.  It was probably about 9 years ago and I was very active back then and lost lots of weight then.  I couldn't believe how in shape I was and so skinny. I looked DAMN good.  Then I was a fitness freak and workout all the time and barely ever skipped a day, but then again I wasn't married and didn't have kids so I didn't have any obligations except work. I was able to concentrate on me.  

Alright, time to start dinner for the family.  We are having spaghetti tonight with garlic bread.  

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.  

Until next time............

Lots on my mind lately!

First off I want to say my 30 day challange is going great this week & my muscles are surely feeling it.  Along with my regular gym 2 hour workout I've been adding in 30 mins on my treadmill walking with an incline 4mph (reason I havee shin splints).  I have watched what I ate majorly (kinda did a little bad today) and I can certainly feel it.  I feel great.  

So on to another subject that I need to get off my chest cuz it's running thru my mind like wild fire.  I desperately need a job & I'm not just saying this, we really need me to start brining money in.  We are literaly broke.  I have applied to numerous, numerous jobs with maybe 3 replies.  I do not understand what I'm doing wrong.  This in itself is very stressful.  Another is my life at home, it truly sucks.  Don't ever get me wrong I absolutely LOVE my trio & wouldn't change them for anything, this has nothing to do with them.  Yes, they are a handful and sometimes I stop & wonder how can I keep going, but I do & just for them.  

I may & do bottle up a lot of my emotions on how I truly feel about things.  Allot of people (especially my family) just don't understand how truly they hurt me with things they say (I feel the tears coming on but hold them back) then yes I get defensive to stop from crying & may say things that are not what I want to say, but they help me forget.  I am someone that holds on to things people say that are hurtful for awhile & constantly replay the scene over & over again.  I truly am a very emotional person, I have just built up a wall to try to protect myself.  Well once I get a chance & I'm alone yes I cry & cry.  One thing I wish I always had but never did was confidence in myself & to be able to speak & stand up for myself when I need to.  

Well I pray to God every day to guide me to show me the way, to point me in the right direction.  I have finally put my hands up & am leaving it all in Gods hands to help me.  I've done what I can.  

Until next time........

30 Day Challange

Well what can I say except for I was very lazy the last 1 1/2 weeks and last week is one of the biggest weeks I needed to have a great week (Thanksgiving).  It all started last Monday my knee acted up & I couldn't walk to well, so I couldn't workout the first two days.  Then it just fell down hill from there & my eating habits this past weekend were absolutely HORRIBLE.  So Starting Monday 12/2/13 I am doing a 30 day challange of my own.  My goal is to lose 20lbs by the New Year.  

Monday I didn't go to the gym, but ran on the treadmill at 5mph for 30 mins & completed 1 min planks x2, 100 crunches, 1 min 6" x2.  Today I went to the gym and did 50 mins on the elliptical and 45 mins of upper body training.  Then after dinner I briskly walked at 4mph at an incline for 30 mins & planks. 

I'm going to eat very, very healthy too.  I have my meal replacement protien shake in the morning & then veggies & fruit for lunch & a healthy dinner.  I snack on almonds after the gym.  I was really good today cuz I make peanut butter & oatmeal raisin cookies for my kids & I had two oatmeal cookies.  I am despretely going to try to stick to this.  I need to feel good about myself & do something for myself for once.  

Things around here have been a struggle with money, finding a job, Trying to stay sane, my marriage.  As much as I love my husband he doesn't help me around the house with the kids at all and it makes things so hard and stressful on my part.  I just wish he's wake up and become a better father/husband.  I mean is it so hard to tell your wife she's beautiful or to thank her for what she does for the family or even offer her a night off to go do something (without him calling consistanly wondering when I'm coming home).  I have been thinking about marriage counciling before I take any further steps, but I'm so scared to do anything.  I need guidence, someone to guide me to the right thing.  I can't do this anymore and the reason I'm telling you this is because I know it is not helping with my health or weightloss.  I'm currently on two depression meds & now a sleeping pill because the stress is messing with my sleep.    

Ok, enough of that, I'm going to go finish watching my show NCIS & then Full Throttle.  Until next time........

Just a little Info...

I'm thinking of the 5 jiggle fixes.... I need to learn some of these moves.

Good Week

So I feel that I had an pretty good week with my diet & workouts.  I ate healthy & worked hard & I feel pretty good besides the fact my body hurts, but it is that "good" hurt knowning I worked the muscles.  So today is suppose to be a rest day, but for some reason I'm feeling the urge to jump on my treadmill & run for 30 mins @ 5.0.  So I think I'm going to sneak an extra cardio in but that never hurt anyone.  I'm sorta kinda excided.  Plus even though I ate good all week dinner last night wasn't my first choice it was pizza with white sauce, pepperoni, black olives & bacon.  I ate two slices & I feel sooo guilty for it today.  I shouldn't feel that bad b/c you have to let yourself indulge in something you really want every once in a while just not all the time & limit your intake.  If I didn't workout all week then eating that would have been a different story, but I know if I want to lose these last 40 lbs to meet my goal I can't think that way all the time.  

Well gotta run just wanted to check in.  It's time to make the trio breakfast & for them I'm thinking strawberry waffles & for me Naturade Pure Soy protien shake.  

Enjoy your weekend... Until next time....

My dinner choice today

I just wanted to do a quick post on my meals today b/c I'm mostly impressed with my dinner choice.  

Breakfast I had Naturade total Soy protien shake total 130 cal per serving which is 2 servings. Has a decent 13g of protien. 

Lunch I had two large white hard boiled eggs 140 cal for both and wheat toast (2 slices) 160 cal so my total lunch was 300 cal

Dinner I made white chicken breast (1 med size breast) meat only roasted   142 cal stuffed with turkey bacon (3 slices plus 3 more I snuck while cooking) 210 cal & shredded moz cheese (1/4 cup) 80 cal.  My side dish was instant brown rice (1 cup cooked) 170 cal mixed in steamed mixed veggies (4oz) 300 cal.  Total dinner was 632 cal.  

Snack was plain almonds (12) 182 cal

My total daily calories was 1,194.  I'd say that's not bad considering I burned 1,086 calories in my workout today.

Also just for fun here is a picture of my husband and I from a wedding on 10/19.  Lots of fun. 

Scale is my friend today :-)

I decided to get on the scale again today just to see what's going on with my diet changes & I was so happy that I was down to 245.8 lbs, but I'm not going to record my number until next week.  I know how your weight can flucuate every day.  

Well this is a type & go post cuz I have to go get ready for the gym.  Oh & yes I'm still desperately job searching & the stress it killing my diet.  I know, I know I need to relax & it'll come when expected (damn that sounds like what I heard over & over when we were trying to get pregnant the first time) but what people don't understand is that is much easier said then done.  

Well until next time...........

Back in the grind!

I started back to the gym on Tuesday (yesterday), I did not go on Monday & I really had no great excuse as to why, I was just lazy.  I had upper body day yesterday & lower body today.  I absolutely love working my legs out, but today I had to skip the leg press & the squats b/c the machine never freed up in the 45 mins I was doing my strength training, Boo hoo.  Today I was on a time crunch b/c I had to pick the twins up from preschool at 11am so I couldn't wait around waiting for the machine to free up.  Well I'll just have to work them extra hard come Friday.  

Well I weighed myself yesterday (boy was I avoiding the scale for over a week now)  I am at 247.6 which means I've gained 7lbs, UGH!!!  So I'm seriously amping up  my diet & workout b/c I only have 47 more pounds to reach my goal weight & in all honesty I should have been there at the beginning of this past Summer if I continued losing 2lbs a week like I was (see weight tab) then all of sudden it just STOPPED!  I need to get it back up & moving again like yesterday.  I also took photos of me yesterday in my sports bra & undies before I went to the gym & it is terrible embarrassing, but I'm going to post them b/c I need a push & if I embarrass myself then that will get me moving.  All the weight you'll be looking at came from the twin & my singleton pregnancies.  I have never ever had a stomach or at worst all this overhanging skin that I do now & that is my hardest problem area.  You can see the results from the 80lbs I have lost in the last 2 years from the sagging skin, which I hope beyond all hope that it will go away with the strength training b/c there is no way I'd ever be able to afford surgery to remove the skin.  I'm so affraid of what's it going to look like when I do loose all the fat, I know it'll still be healthier, but mentally it'll still take a toll on how I feel about myself.  I see all these fitness ladies that have had kids & their stomach looks awesome even some before/after pictures where they had the same "overhang" that I do & it gives me allot of encouragement & pushes me to do what I gotta do to get back to how I ounce was 8 years ago!!!  

Ok, here are the photos & I truly cannot wait till I can post this side by side with my "new & improved" self Spring of next year!!!!!

November 5, 2013      247.6 lbs

These by far are the most embarrassing thing I have ever posted, but someone has to do it....  I really don't care what others think, but in a month or less I will post updated photos every month to watch my progress.  This is the whole reason for my blog is so I can keep track of my success or failer and improve on what needs to be or keep doing what I need to do.  

Until next time.......

Rest week

What can I say..... My knee started bothering me really bad again so I took this week off of working out & I'm going to start full force on Monday.  Hopefully this reset will get things going.  I have been under allot of stress & been very depressed lately.  I am so worried about money & us not affording our bills or being able to give the kids a Christmas this year & I'm still desperately job searching with no luck so far.  My doctor has me on two different types of anti-depressants and they are not helping.  He said if these don't work I'll have to go see a pychologist, ugh the last thing I'd wanna do.  They second medicine he put me on I do not like so far, I believe it's the cause of my insomina the past three days & I've got tons of acne on my face (like I'm back in gradeschool, but even then I never broke out this bad).  I feel more aggression & get agitated more easily then normal.  I also just feel out of it & sometimes like I'm drunk or something, sometimes I don't remember things b/c I feel out of it.  I do not like driving cuz again I feel like I'm driving drunk.  So today I cut that medicine out to see what happens.  I'm so sick of feeling this way, I truly wanna go back to being myself.  

Anyways, I've been seriously considering becoming a Beachbody Coach.  I have been reading up on it & know someone that is one and it all seems very encouraging, plus if I get good results then hopefully I can get people to sign up & start making money.  I'm going to try to remain opptomistic & really hope that this helps with my weightloss & workouts.  I already tried a week of Shakeology & the shakes are good & I notice the energy increase, but I was still really hungry before I got thru my workout.  Maybe if I am on it for more then a week it'll work better.  Also I know I've mentioned this numerous times before about changing my diet up I am definitely doing a revamp on everything I eat.  I just need to find food that is cheap but good, cuz we are alittle broke right now & I've realized to eat all the healthy foods & shop only on the outside displays (fresh foods) & not in the aisles where all the processed foods are that you have to have some type of money cuz it is a lot more expensive especially for a family of five.  

So starting Monday I am going to recharge my diet & workout & start to get serious about losing the remaining poundage... 

Here's to better tomorrows.....Until next time.

This weight isn't moving

Ok, I'm still frustrated and now starting to look for anything to get my weight to move again.  I am still going to the gym 5x a week and I do 45 mins of intense eliptical and then about 45 mins of strength training.  Last week I added in treadmill running for 30 mins straight every other day.  I have notice the run is easier since I've stopped smoking (it'll be 3 weeks this coming Thursday).  I'm hoping that maybe this will start the pounds to drop again, b/c it's literally been about 6 or more months since I saw the scale at 249, it's still going back & forth from 254-257 & I'm getting PISSED and I did measure my waist & such and nothing, absolutely NOTHING.  

Maybe I do need to have a serious diet make over or something.  I am to the point where I will take any suggestions at all to get this weight moving again, please.  Right now I cannot afford to go get any expensive foods or such because we are very tight on money (so no I still haven't found a job).  So I'm looking for advice on cheap easy meals or ideas.

I'm also thinking all this stress I'm under isn't helping me either.  I am still sending out resumes like crazy with no luck.  I'm just stressing so much about money & bills & with Christmas coming for the kids.  I feel like total shit that I couldn't plan a surprise 40th birthday party for my husband this Saturday (Oct 26th) like I really, really wanted to (I worried about him questioning why I was taking money out of the account for & not having an excuse, cuz I suck at lieing).  We are still having a party, but it's not even close to what I had planned in my head.  

With my personnal life the twins are three and my little one just turned two, so "Yes" my hands are full and they definitely keep me on my toes 24/7.  They constantly test my limits and see how much I can take, which isn't much anymore.  They are in the horrendious three's & terrible two's and let me tell you two's aren't as bad as everyone thinks.  They love to destroy everything and I mean everything from what they own to what mommy owns and what others own.  The twins are in preschool three days a week & I take the time to go to the gym with my little one (He goes in the playroom).  My gym time every day is my 2 hour break from reality & gives me time to relax & think about EVERYTHING!!  

Anywho, I just wanted to give a little update and let you know not much has changed since my last post, that's why I haven't posted in a while, but yeah, like I've said before I will try to do it more often and hopefully I will have more to tell.  

Until next time......................

I love my body!!!

"I love my body" yes I have to keep telling myself this to try to stay positive, but secretly I hate my body with a passion.  I have been going to the gym (Fitness 19, great place) for 3 months now & I've faithfully been going at least 5x a week, but my weight is still playing the yo yo game & going between 239-243.  I have been stuck at this weight literally all year.  Last year (as you see in my weight log) the lbs were coming off at least 2lbs a week.  I'm thinking it's seriously time to sit down & reconsider my diet & do some playing around with that until I find the solution.  I'm doing great at the gym & sweating my butt off, but well no results.  I do feel great & sometimes see results.  

I seriously don't know how to get rid of this huge baby pouch & all the extra skin coming along with it.  Will I ever be able to tighten it w/o surgery to remove it?  I swear especially after having twins my abdominal muscles are no longer in existence.  Some days my tummy looks flatter then all of sudden it looks like I'm bloated or pregnant again & hanging out.  I just don't know what to do with it.  

Off the weight/gym subject... I'm still seriously job searching & all that added stress is most definitely not helping with the weight loss.  I'm getting annoyed with sending all these damn resumes out w/ no results.  We are getting very low on cash & I desperately need to get back to work, cuz I don't want to end up in serious money issues.  I know there has to be something out there that I qualify for, something.  I have such a wide variety back ground, but it's not helping me.  

I have been under so much stress lately between money & job searching.  I feel like a horrible wife/mother.  Some days I just cry & cry cuz I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I guess I just want my life to be like a movie, where everything works out perfect in the end.  I have always dreamt of having a great family (which don't get me wrong I absolutely do) but where we do allot more stuff as a family & my DH was allot more interactive with us & willing to concentrate more on his family instead of pleasing himself.  I cannot remember the last time I have done anything for myself or bought myself anything.  I desperately need  new clothes with all my weight loss but I don't have the money, so I have to go around looking like a SLOB!!  I just hope things turn around for us & everything gets better cuz I don't know how much more stress I can handle.  I feel I'm losing or lost control of my kids & don't know what to do!!!

Well that about sums it up with what has been going on since last time I updated.  

Until next time....................  

So sorry!!!

I just realized it's been more then a month since I updated.  Nothing much has changed still going to the gym 5x a week & feeling great about it & the weight is SLOWLY coming off & I mean SLOWLY.  I have to really start watching my drinking & eating over the weekend cuz I know this is definitely not helping me.  

I'm still trying to find a dang job, UGH!!!  I will  update tomorrow with more of whats been happening since I last updated.  I have to run.  

Until then.......

Better day!

I have to say today was a much better day at the gym for two reasons.. 1) I got to complete my entire workout including cardio & strength training & 2) the kids were better.  It always makes me feel better when I can workout.  The only problem was I thought working out was suppose to help relieve stress but in my case it doesn't because the whole time I'm working out I am always checking over my shoulder to see if they are coming to get me cuz of my kids.  

I changed up my breakfast & had Honey Nut cheerio's with flax seed sprinkled on top & my normal vitamins.  I again got really bad stomach cramps & nausea.  It went away by the time I got to the gym, but still WTH is going on?  I'm going to skip the flax seed tomorrow to see if maybe that my be causing this.  If the stomach problems still continue then I'm going to eliminate taking my vitamin C & see if maybe I'm getting to much of that.  If this doesn't help then I'm going to call the doctor.  

For lunch I had a turkey sandwich plain  & I baked some asparagus & no problems then.  I'm making dinner right now & we're having spaghetti noodles mixed with garlic butter & sausage.  But my stomach is playing tricks with me right now & it's not feeling 100%.  I have no idea what's going on.  

Well I better get back to the dinner preparations... Until next time.......

  

Today felt a little off!

Well today started as a Monday that was the first mistake there.  I couldn't get myself out of bed this morning even with the three munchions running around creating havoc in my bedroom.  I just couldn't open my eyes at 6:30 this morning. Then from what I can remember everything was going okay (my morning was a bit blurry).  I made my breakfast smoothie which consist of Silk Almond milk, banana, frozen berries, plain greek yogurt, spinach & flaxseed, only a few minutes later my stomach was cramping & I felt like I was about to puke.  I tried laying on the couch for a bit, but it didn't help.  I decided that I'll pack up the trio & head out to the gym & see how I felt when I got there.  I pulled into the parking lot & still feeling sick, but I decided I'll go in & see what happens.  I dropped the trio off at the play room & even told the girl that I don't know how long I'm going to make it cuz I wasn't feeling well , but low & behold as I stepped back out on the floor & started walking to the elliptical everything went away like a snap of the fingers.  So I got my 45 mins in & was going to fill up my water bottle before I started my leg strength training & I walk by the play room & the girl tells me "oh, I was just trying to call up front to get you....  Jake (my youngest 21 months old) was hitting & pushing kids & hit a little girl in the face with a chair"  Then she said 'Joey (my 3 year old) was knocking over kids blocks & such"  UGH, REALLY my kids are going to be the bullies?  I didn't know what to do.  I kept apologizing to the girl.  I had a talk with Jake, but at that age it's kinda hard to tell a toddler what he did wrong after the fact.  I was going to go back & finish my work out but then Joey started getting upset that he wanted to go home, so even though the girl kept telling me everything is okay & I can go finish working out, but I was so visibly upset after hearing what Jake has done, I had to go.  So I got the kids out & even before I got to my car I started crying.. by the time I got in my car I just let it go & balled my eyes out.

So basically the rest of my day has been bad.  I cannot get the situation above out of my head & I just keep getting upset about it.  I tried telling Jake over & over that hitting is bad so we'll see what happens tomorrow.  Please, please let them be good.  My worst fear is coming true I'm going to be that mom when other people see me they'll say "Oh no, here comes the bullies"

Another thing is I'm really exhausted & can barely keep my eyes open, so I'm going to end this here.  The best thing about my diet today is at least I got my cardio in the most important to me.  

Well, here's to hoping for a better day tomorrow & much more energy!!  Until next time..............

Being attacked by frustration

Ok, this Monday will make 6 weeks since I've been going to the gym working my butt off (or trying).  I've actually made it 5x a week, except for 4th of July week.  I'm still doing my original work out that I mentioned in my last post.  I feel great but I'm really not understanding the scale.  One day I was at 243.4 then come Monday I'm at 250 again.  Throughout the week I'll slowly get back down in the low 240's but then back up again.   I'm pretty sure I really need to readjust my weekend eating/drinking habits.  That is the only reason I can think of why this is happening.  I'm sure the stress I'm under isn't helping either.  

Secretly in a way I'm wanting Summer to be over with so we don't have to spend the weekends up at the trailer.  There is way to much drinking going on.  I know all I have to do is learn more self control & not drink.  I have been trying to bring up healthier foods for me to eat up there.  I need to start planning  ahead of the weekend so I'm not to the point of rushing to pack & then make horrible decisions.  Well lets hope that I can gain self control over the upcoming weekends & get under this 200lbs mark by the end of the year.  

I want to be sexy & feel great by next year & I hope with allot of self control & a being more strict on my habits then I can reach that goal.  

I can do this!!!!!

Well until next time.................. 

Missing in action!

Sorry I just realized that I haven't updated my blog in alittle over a month!  I've just been really busy with the kids & stuff.  Anyway's I joined a gym finally (Fitness 19) and I'm so happy that they have a kids play room so I can go the 5 times a week with out feeling bad about trying to find a babysitter.  Today was week 4 and so far I've been doing great with going everyday.  This week because of the Holiday will be cut short if we go up to the Lake on Wednesday night.  I will only get 3 maybe 4 days in this week.  

My routine is working out for me so far.  Every day I do 45 mins on the elliptical at level 4-5 with rotating forward & back every 10 mins & keeping not letting my speed go under 6.5.  Then on Monday, Wednesday & Fridays I do strength training on my legs.  Tuesday & Thursday I work out my arms.  Every day I do abs.  I am so happy to finally get strength training in again & I'm feeling really good lately.  My knee is still bothering me allot so I haven't been able to run on my treadmill at home, but once that is better I'm going to start adding my running back in for 30 mins at home.  

The weight finally started coming off again.  Last week I made it under 245lbs.  I was at 244.4, which I haven't lost anything for several months & it was really starting to bother me.  This morning the scale wasn't pretty but it's allot of bloating from drinking this weekend.  My summer weekends involve allot of beer because we spend them up at the Lake & I know that is horrible for my diet but it is so hard not to drink while sitting around the fire with all the people up there (while they are drinking too).  I have to work on that self control. 

I'm still job searching which sucks big time but then again I also like that I can get to the gym every morning.  I know that when I do get back to work it'll be hard to get to the gym after work with the kids cuz I'll feel guilty that I'll be picking them up from day care then eating dinner at home then taking them to the play room for about an hour & a half then come home & it'll be bed time.  We'll see how that works out. 

Well I am going to promise to try to keep this updated more & hopefully I'll have more weight loss updates too like I use to.  I will have to take an updated picture of me since it's been awhile. 

Until next time..................

Slacking for sure!

Ok, so I've been really bad with my running & I have absolutely no reason as to why, just flat out lazy!  I took last week off but I made sure I still ate really good & I actually did good, but it's now Wednesday in week 2 & I still haven't gotten on the treadmill & I'm kinda dreading it b/c I know it's going to be rough after a week in a half of not doing anything.  I wanna run today but I'm so exhausted (I know that isn't an excuse) I went to bed around 10pm last night but couldn't fall asleep until about 2am then I got a wake up call from my youngest at 5:45am.  

So basically above I've just been making tons of excuses for myself & I have no one to blame except me!!!  I had my husband call Fitness 19 to see how much a membership is cuz I'm really wanting to get to a gym so I can start using weights again & also the elliptical, but I will still run on my treadmill at home.  Anyways, it's $50 to join & $10 a month plus of course I need child care & it's $6 per child per month so total with membership & child care would be about $28 a month, which honestly is a really awesome price, so I'm going to sweet talk my hubby into letting me get it. 

Well I better go make my breakfast smoothy, which by the way I've started adding ground Flax Seed to them everyday cuz I've read about the great benefits from it such as inflammation.  It's suppose to help limit inflammation & we all know almost everyone can use that.  Also I've read the great benefits for woman.  So, I figured I couldn't hurt myself by using it so I'm giving it a try.  This is my second week on it.  

I will update later.... Until next time.............

Running the fat off!!

So as I've said before I started training myself for a half marathon & no still haven't decided if I'm going to actually run one come Fall, but we'll see.   I am on day six of my training & I ran for 30 mins at 5.0 mph & it felt GREAT.  I didn't stop once, but the 5.0 makes me feel like I'm running so slow.  Tomorrow I run for 30 again & I believe on Friday I run/walk for 40 mins.  I'm really truly hoping that this jump starts my weight loss journey again.  So far I haven't lost anything yet, but I'm feeling pretty good.  

I'm still in PT for my knees & I have three more visits left.  My left knee was starting to feel better (still having occasional pain) & my right knee has been truly giving me allot of problems like just walking down the stairs or sitting on the toilet or anything were I have to bend it.  Well since I stopped doing lunges & squats (which still disappoints me) my left knee has improved, but yesterday at therapy they introduced wall squats with a ball between my knees & my knees were hurting bad today.  I go again tomorrow & I'll see how I feel & mention it to them.  I really want my knees to heal up so I can start doing more exercises for my legs.  Also my back still bothers me allot from my last injury & I need that to heal up to 100% too, or as close as someone with a back like mine can get.  

I'm still desperately job searching & it's getting very frustrating.  I cannot believe that there is not one job out there that I qualify for where the people actually wanna interview me or hire me.  Come on I'm a great worker & a very fast learner.  Those are a few of my qualities.  Please pray that something comes very soon because alittle extra money will be very nice & then we can finally move to a bigger house that we need.  

Well I really hope that I stick with my running & that these last 50lbs fall off as quick as the first 70lbs did.  Oh, please, please!!!!!

Until next time............

Pissed!!

Ok, this is going to be a fast update, I'll write more later. How in the Hell did I go from 249.3 on Friday to 256.6 today!?!?!? I mean come on... This is my problem since January I just cannot stay under 250. I'm really starting to loose hope & lose my determination on this dang weight loss goal. I'm really hoping that it's just allot of water weight, like it sometimes is & usually after I work out I sweat most of the water out my weight goes down again. What & How can I stop this from happening weekend after weekend. I know I don't drink at much water as I normally do during the week especially when we are up at the trailer, but I've been trying hard to make sure I drink more up there. Maybe that is it & maybe I need to start brining better foods for me up there.

UGH, I'm just so mad right now I wanna cry. I really don't need this right now, I need some success again!!!!!!!

A new beginning!

Ok, so I have decided to start training myself for a half marathon. Giving myself something to strive for & a goal to reach besides just losing these last 50lbs. I got a 10 week training schedule & started my training today. I was suppose to run/walk 15/20 mins today but I thought it was 20/30 mins so I did 30 mins at 5.0 then I walked for 30 mins at 4.0 with an incline of 2.0. It felt so good. Tomorrow I'm suppose to do the same but I'm trying to decide if I should just do the 15/20 mins or stay with my 30 mins since I did ok with that today, but will it mess up my training???
By the end of my first week I'm suppose to be up to 30 mins so do I just do the whole week at 30 then go back to the training on my 2nd week?!?! I really don't think it will hurt anything to continue on 30 mins. I'm kinda excited about this & hoping that maybe mixing up my work out routine & trying something new will get my weight loss moving again. I also did my Denise Austin video for bun/legs & thighs which is only about 20 mins long. Please oh please give me the strength to complete this goal. I am someone that hates to quit & really likes to see myself succeed. Oh, I also do not have any half marathons picked out to run, right now I'm just doing this for a personal goal, but there are two coming up in October so if I think I can do it & I stick to my training then I might enter one of them or maybe both, who knows.....

So today for breakfast I tried a new smoothie (Peanut Butter & banana) which is 303 calories. Although it didn't really fill me up like the Green Monster Smoothie did it was ok. It didn't really have much of a taste, so I'll have to research more smoothie's. Then I had a Fiber Plus bar before I ran. For lunch I had 6 celery sticks with cream cheese. Dinner was left over Chicken Salsa Fiesta which is so delic's... & it's healthy if you make it the right way at 190 cal a serving.

I told my husband that when our pantry gets emptied & we go shopping again we are going to try to limit allot of processed foods from our diets for my sake & my kids. I know it'll be hard because processed foods are so easy to prepare but I'm actually looking forward to eating fresh. I know there will be some processed foods but I'm going to get the healthiest ones that I can.

Well until next time.........................

Start another round of PT

Well I'm finally starting physical therapy for my knees this time. UGH, I tell you if it's not one thing it's another..... getting old sucks!! All these many years of sports is finally catching up to me. Well he found out many different thing wrong with my knees but hopefully with time & work we can get it back into shape so I can push myself harder on my workouts & get back to my video's. I did tell him how I have still been walking & running 5 days a week on the treadmill & how it has not bothered me to do it, but he said I need to listen to my body & if my knees do not start getting better then I need to lighten up on the running cuz even though it might not be bothering me when I'm running it can still be irritating them. UGH, just what I really didn't want to hear, seriously!!! I have 50 more lbs to go & I need to run to get them off (at least that's how I feel). So I'll be going to PT twice a week for 4 weeks for now & see if I need to go further (hopefully not) then I have a follow up with my orthopedic doctor on May 9th.

Anyways, my weight still hasn't done anything, it still keeps fluctuating between 253-249 & I just can't seem to stop that for almost 5 months now. I will have to work harder on my eating since I have to lighten up on my workouts for now. So we'll see where it brings me.

I am still job searching & that is starting to get very, very frustrating & stressful. I think one of my problems on why I have been stuck at this weight is I am under a huge amount of stress between my home life & trying to find a dang job. Plus my husband has been very, very stressful more then usual. I know I need to work on getting rid of this stress & making it better so I can start loosing the weight again.

Anyways, I'm beyond tired (haven't been sleeping well between having bronchitis & up all night coughing & then my 18 month old going thru a no sleep stage), I'm calling it a night & going to go cough my head off for a couple hours & then finally fall asleep only to be woken right away by Jake.

Until next time..... take care & I hope next update has some awesome news in it..

Pissed Off!!

I'm about to lose it & I feel like giving up all together. These last 50 will not BUDGE!!! I haven't lost a thing since January and I'm getting very frustrated & kinda running out of things to try (even though I know there are a bunch of stuff I can still try, but for me it's a matter of time & money). I would really like to join a gym again so I can start working out on weights again & possibly adding in the elliptical for more cardio, but without a job I cannot afford it & not sure when I can fit it in with three little kids on my hands & if I started working full-time again. Yes, I'm still job searching & sending resumes every day with no luck & that is even more stress full then I remember.

Anyways, I'm still eating very healthy & doing my running 29 mins a day & I've upped it from 5.2 to 5.4 & then walking on the treadmill at 3.5 with the incline alternating between 5-10 for 30 mins & I'm not seeing any results. I had to stop my workout videos b/c out off the four of them they all involve squats, lunges & my knees currently cannot handle that (getting old sucks & I really wish I wasn't in pain so I can do strength video's cuz as of now that's all I have for strength training).

I would really appreciate any input or suggestions on what to do.... Please remember I am limited on time cuz it's not easy to find a babysitter during the day & now with grass cutting season starting my husband has a side job doing that so my nights are not available either unless after the kids go to bed & he his home or before the kids wake up & chris leaves for work.

Until next time.....hopefully this time I will have some good news.

Slowly getting back!

I worked out again today & the run was a tad bit difficult, I actually had to stop a few times & yes I was upset with myself. I just kept telling myself that it will get easier again w/ time just like before. My back is sore & my right knee has been bothering me since yesterday making it hard to walk down stairs or squat to get something. I finally did make an appointment for PT but sadly for my left knee just hoping they can maybe help me with my other knee too (since I'm there) but they'll probably wanna get their monies worth & say they can only do one problem at a time. We'll see next week.

My baby girl Addisyn has to have surgery to get rid of block tear ducks tomorrow morning sometime (we're still waiting for them to call with a time). It's pretty much a very simple surgery but any surgery on a three year old that has to be put under is scary. Please say a little pray for her tomorrow that everything goes smoothly.

What did I eat so far today, you ask? Well for breakfast I had an omelet with two egg whites & one whole egg with green peppers, tomato's, mushrooms & spinach & shredded cheese. For lunch I had to finish off some leftovers from Sunday's dinner which was half of an Italian sausage & potatoes that were cooked on the grill. Tonight for dinner I'm making a recipe I found on Pinterest which is noodles, tomatoes, parmesan cheese, olive oil.

Well until next time, this is all I got.........

Hoping back on the band wagon!

Ok, so I just got my keyboard for my IPad so I now have no excuse to not update often. I'll give you alittle update on whats been going on lately, but it's not to exciting.

I took another week & a half off of working out but still was watching what I was eating. I still haven't lost anything from the last time I've actually put on maybe a pound or two (not excited about that) so that is also pissing me off. My back is better but I still have moments where it hurts alot. I'm currently dealing with my knees. My left knee as I believe I mentioned before is still hurting & I had an x-ray done & went & saw an orthopedic doctor which it turns out from the trauma to my knee cap I could have scarred or torn cartridge under the knee cap which she has ordered my PT for it (I just have to get off of my butt & make an appt before I go back to see her). I've also been having problems with my right knee for about a month now that just started up out of no where. It's kinda weird to the point that when I'm walking down stairs or squatting\kneeling a burning pain will start right on top of my knee cap & sometimes I have to stop & breathe it out cuz it hurts so much that I feel like I'm going to faint at times. Ugh, I tell you if it isn't one thing its another (it sucks getting old).


So I had to stop my Jullian Michaels "Ripped in 30" because of all the squats involved my doctor made me stop for now. I did start my running again & was able to get that in today & hopefully the next 4 days. I have to get myself back on the wagon because Summer is right around the corner & these last dang 50 or 60 lbs that I want to lose aren't going to just fall off themselves & I've proven that diet alone isn't helping me lose them. I realize that my body needs exercise & intense exercise at that & diet for it to respond. I really wish I could be one of those that just diet & do light exercise & see results, but that is not going to happen. Oh well everyone is different. I need to jumpstart my body again & fast!!! So for the time being I'll have to look for other videos that I can do strength training without the squats & such.

I haven't done my measurements since I last updated them on here & I haven't updated my weights cuz like I said nothing has changed in that department. Hopefully there are results on my measurements.

Well until next time.................

Done!!

I am beyond pissed..... I did five days of running & four days of the Ripped in 30 (cuz I started Tuesday ) and I GAINED three fricken pounds!! OMG, I really don't know what to do & I'm about to throw in the towel & just except the fact that I'm doomed to be fat the rest of my life. I haven't lost anything since 1/29/13! WTH?!?! I am going to do my five days of Both workouts this week & again hope for the best & hoping that maybe it'll change once my monthly friend comes (any day now), cuz I usually put on a few right before then. If not I will scream, not like I don't scream enough with three little ones.

Anyways, I've been so depressed, pissed at the world & lost for words with my life right now.. I need CHaNGE & quickly. My kids have been so frustrating & nerve wrecking lately, maybe b/c we're all stir crazy being locked up inside & nothing to do. I really, really need a job. I cannot get past the damn interview part... Maybe I just am an idiot & I know I probably sound stupid in interviews but no one wants to hire me! WTH am I doing wrong, I mean seriously???? I'm a very hard worker & if people would get past the interview part & just let me show them then they wouldn't be disappointed. I am a fast learner & a great employee but no one wants me. I'm being to think I may need to apply at McDonalds or Walmart just so I can get out, but I probably wouldn't get those jobs either!!!

Oh we'll, enough complaining, but I needed to get that out cuz I have no one to talk to these days & keeping everything bottled up is getting to me!

Until next time.......

No pain, no gain!

Ok so I took 8 days off of working out & tried hard to still eat good. The reason I did this is because since 1/29/13 I have been stuck at the same weight. Yes it is good that I didn't gain, but I didn't loose either. I know my back injury put a big dent in my work out plans but I can't blame it on that & my back is doing much better that I don't have to go the PT (physical therapy) anymore. So I have to get myself motivated again & get moving to lose these last 50 lbs.

So I started running & walking again on Monday & I upped my running speed from 5.2 to 5.4 & it was rough but I got thru it. I also did my strength video by Denise Austin (my all time favorite cuz it works). Yesterday I did the treadmill but sadly I had to cut my run short b/c my running shoes (Asics ) have been a little tight since my pregnancy but I've sucked it up & ran through it, we'll yesterday I just couldn't take it (I had to curl my toes while running) so I went out yesterday & bought a new pair of running shoes & I cannot wait to run today & test them out. I also started the 30 day shred with Jullian Michaels yesterday & I'm going to hopefully stick to it & do it 5-6 days a week & hopefully see better results. Yesterday she kicked my butt cuz I'm so out of shape & it's been like five or so years since I've done such intense work outs & I'm hurting today but its that "good" hurt were you know it's working.

I'm also going to take some "disturbing" embarrassing photos of me today & then at day 30 to see the results. In the end I will post the before & after pics on here no matter how gross I look, hey I need inspiration, right?

Well it's time to go throw my workout cloths on & get to the 30 day shred & will do my treadmill & Denise Austin video later when the kids are sleeping.... Wish me luck.

Until next time...............

Ok, so I haven't stuck to my promise of keeping this updated. It's the time of year that I'm really busy. My back is doing much better & I have been able to start running again but I haven't done my five times a week cuz I'm slacking. I haven't ran since Thursday & I feel absolutely disgusting. I really need to get back on track & I hate that I let an injury take the best of me cuz I was doing so well. I haven't lost a pound in about a month & a half but thankfully I haven't gained either. I need to sit down & do a change to my diet again to get the weight loss moving again b/c I only have 50 lbs to go. The first 60 flew off cuz I was losing 2lbs a week but now I'm stuck, ugh. I'm going to do some researching & try new healthier foods & see if that helps me. Ive been so exhausted lately & also my nausea is back (vertigo) and that makes me not want to do a thing. So starting tomorrow I'm going to start running again & depending on what new healthier foods I choose I may start tomorrow or when I can get to a grocery store to stock up.

I will update with my changes ounce I figure it out. Thanks for listening.

Until next time cuz this momma is going to bed!

Slacker

Sorry I haven't been on to update in a long time but nothing really has changed even my weight. Two weeks this Tuesday I was holding my 17 month old & dancing with him & I injuried my back & could barely move. Quick story on my back I've had two surgeries on my lower back to fix herniated discs. Anyways, I went to the doctor & he put me on pain pills & muscle relaxers & a steroid (prednisone). The steroids were awful they made me bloated & constipated. So I was able to get around again but still had pain then on Sunday I hurt it again & was down for the count this time. I started physical therapy on Thursday which helped but I'm still having pain & have to watch my moves or I get a shooting pain in my back. My nights are sleepless & I wake up barely able to move b/c of the pain. During the day it's getting somewhat better. So to say the least I am depressed that I haven't been able to workout at all. I'm worried now that when I finally do get to its going to be hard to get myself back into the swing of things. Go figure just when things were getting good this happens, it never fails.

I've been trying to at least still watch what I eat so the weight doesn't come back on while I'm healing. I'm thinking on Monday I might get on the treadmill & do the JM walking workouts & start there & see how that goes & then slowly I can maybe get back to running sooner then later. I figured if I can at least do that it's better then nothing, right?

Anywho, I will try to keep my blog updated. I've just been on meds & in so much pain that I didn't feel like typing anything.

Until next time...............

This needs to stop!

Why do I always do this to myself! I have gained 3lbs over the weekend & I'm sure it's from the beer & junk I ate over the weekend cuz we had the twins birthday party & then yesterday we ate Denny's for breakfast & Mr. hero for lunch. I'm hoping its mostly water weight that I will sweat out after my workout today. I keep saying this all the time but I need to start following it but I really need to start doing better on the weekends if I want to loose these last 50 lbs before the end of the year. I need to start treating them like I do the week days & eating better & getting my workouts in if need be.

Anyways, I ordered four videos off of Amazon they are workout for arms, legs & abs, I will post more about them later, but I am planning on adding those to my workouts b/c it's time to start trying to firm after all this weight loss.

Well this was a short post but I will post more later (I promise). I will let you know how the videos went & post more about them.

Until next time.............

Crazy day!

Ok I really don't understand what my problem was today (if I wasn't fixed I'd say I was pregnant, lol). I was in a foul mood & didn't want to be bothered or touched by anyone yes even my kids. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess. I can say I felt mad at the world b/c my house is a mess & there is nothing I can do about it & I get absolutely NO help with everything even the kids. Example since my knee has been hurting its really hard to give the trio a bath b/c of the bending of it & you'd think my husband would offer to help me out, but hell no they would never get cleaned if that was the deal. I cried a lot today b/c I've come to realize that I haven't spent anything on just me in the last few years & now that I'm losing all his weight I have absolutely no nice clothing to wear out if I wanted to go. I use to be embarrassed about going out b/c of my extreme weight but now I am b/c of my wardrobe. Yes, I want to go but new clothes but since I'm still losing weight & still have 50 lbs to go I don't want to waste money on clothes until I'm at my ideal weight. Then lets add that my asinine dog tore a hole in our couch that isn't even four months old whole I was running. I'm so sick of not being able to have anything nice. Well I'm going to stop bitching, but just had to say I was feeling a bit down on myself today.

Anyways the twins 3rd birthday was yesterday & so I had a piece of cake & ice cream but I did get my run in. Then today I wanted to skip but thankfully I did it & feel better that I did, plus I cleaned the fridge out cuz we're having a party for the twins on Saturday so I have tons of cleaning to do before then. I made cupcakes for their school tomorrow & of course I enjoyed one tonight after dinner.

Anyways gotta cut his short cuz criminal minds will be on in 8 mins. Sorry this post seemed all over the place but that's how I'm feeling today.

Until next time........

Alright I have to admit that since I got my IPad I have really bad about keeping up with my blog & in some sort of way I do feel bad.  I have still been running faithfully & I'm feeling pretty good.  My runs this past week have been really hard & I've struggled probably b/c I'm still fighting this chest cold.  My knee is still hurting but it has not bothered me while running/walking just when I bend it. 

So for some reason I have been feeling some sort of bloated the past few days & I already drink lots of water, but I've been trying to drink alittle more to try to get rid of it.  I was thinking maybe it was b/c of my monthly visitor but I'm towards the end so normally any bloat is gone by then.  We'll see how I am in a day or two & maybe I need to readjust my diet.  My clothes have been fitting pretty good, but I'm like in an in between size most of the clothes are falling off of me but the other half of my clothes (my pre-twin pregnancy) are a tad bit small but some fit.  I really have to start strength training now to try to tone up all this "loose" skin/flab that is now forming from all the weight I lost.  If I get this job next week then I'm going to see about getting a gym membership somewhere (I don't know how I'll fit it in w/ my trio & working full-time, but I will).  I need to get some video's b/c this extra skin is really causing me problems & self esteem issues.

Tomorrow is the twins 3rd birthday & I have lots to do tonight & then Saturday is there party so I have lots to prepare this week.  I will try hard to update more this week.  I didn't work out today b/c I've just been really tired & plus my son said he wanted me to lay in bed w/ him at nap time so I ended up falling to sleep & yes I do feel guilty about it.  But I will pick it up a step the rest of the week b/c as of right now I don't have any excuses.

Well my trio is screaming & calling me so I have to run.  Until next time......................

Better late then never!

I haven't been able to update b/c I had three sick kids all week last week & the this weekend I was sick. Well thankfully everyone is on the mend so time to move on. I was able to complete my 5 days of running & my weight is showing I'm officially under 250 finally! I don't know why but that makes me feel so damn good I was smiling from ear to ear this morning. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get my workout in today b/c of this chest cold & my knee is really hurting ( don't know what happened), but I got on the treadmill & I did it. It was hard I'll admit but thankfully my knee didn't hurt while running & I didn't hack a lung up until after the work out. My knee is kinda funny it didn't bother me running but it hurts when I bend it or completely straighten it or walking up/down stairs. I hurts on the top of the knee cap & sometimes pain shoots behind my knee also the side of my knee feel really stiff when bending it. I'm icing it right now & hope it goes away on its own. The only thing I can remember doing to it was while at the water park I went down a slide & my daughter was at the end & to avoid plowing into her my knee hit the bottom of the water & I had a nice big bruise toward the bottom of my knee cap but it didn't hurt like it does now, but now that the bruise is gone all this other pain described above started, interesting!

Anyways, Friday was my birthday & I turned 38 and the day just totally sucked. My kids were all sick so I spent the whole day with fevers & whining & crying. Thankfully my parents showed up around 3:30 to help out & we were all suppose to go to dinner together but cuz the kids where sick they let Chris & I go. Then after dinner we met some friends at a bar for some drinks but I was home by 9:30 cuz I knew my parents wanted to go home, but I really wish I could have hung out more. Then Saturday Chris decided to go snow mobiling & promised he'd be home at 4:30-5, so didn't make dinner thinking he could pick something up. I was to busy dealing with sick kids & after a week of it, it was really starting to take its toll on me & I lost it. He didn't get home till 6:30 gee right before the kids bedtime (how convenient is that?). Plus I ran out of the kids Advil & was waiting for him to get home so I could go get some cuz I didn't want to drag them out. My only question: how am I the one that gets screwed over all the time, why can't I ever get my time out w/o feeling guilty from him? Oh we'll that's life.

I have been feeling really down & out lately b/c I'm stuck in the same routine over & over again. I desperately need change & good change. I feel like I'm in the movie "Groundhog Day" that pretty much sums it up. Well I better stop while I'm ahead & spare any readers.

Well here is my meals for today:

Breakfast
Coffee w/ cream & sugar
Two eggs

Lunch
Steamed broccoli

Dinner
Chicken breast
Au gratin potatoes
Steamed veggies

Until next time.............

Taco casserole

Made this for dinner yesterday & I have to see it seemed so heavy & fattening & I felt guilty eating it, but it was so good.

Chicken pot pie

Made home made chicken pot pie today, can't wait to devour it.

Good Day

Ok, I'm on my laptop so now I can update more.  So last Friday I had a busy day that started w/ taking the twins to school & then had to take my husbands truck in for an oil change which lasted the full almost two hours so when that was done it was time to pick the twins back up then we stopped at McDonalds for lunch (I'll tell you it wasn't that good) then picked my mom up from the airport & went over to my parents house, then I had an interview at 3pm which lasted 45 mins & then back to my parents to pick up the trio & got home about 5:30 then the baby sitter came over at 5:45 & the hubby & I went out w/ people from the trailer.  My night ended about 10-10:30, so it was a very busy day & I couldn't get my workout in.  Then on Saturday we took the kids to The Great Wolf Lodge but first we had to go to my in-laws to visit & stopped for lunch before hand then stopped at the trailer to pick up the kids water vests for the water park.  We finally got to the lodge about 1:45pm then spent the day in the water park.  It was alot of fun & the kids really enjoyed themselves.  They didn't get to bed until about 11:15pm & thankfully slept till almost 9am.  Then we packed up & went to the water park then headed home about noonish.  We had three very tired, cranky kids all day yesterday.

So that was my weekend & today I was able to get back on schedule & ate good & got my run in.  I really ate bad all weekend & wasn't happy about it.  Like I said I really need to work on that.

I will update my weight from last week b/c I don't think I did, but here is my meals for today:

Breakfast:coffee w/ cream & sugar
Cherrio's w/ silk almond milk

Lunch:
macaroni & cheese

Dinner:
sloppy joes
sweet potato fries

Until next time......................

Been missing in action

Sorry it's been five days since I last up dated & this one isn't gone to be in detail or long, I just wanted to check in & say that I'm still working out these past few days have been crazy busy for me. I will update more tomorrow & let you know what's been going on these past few days.

Until then.....................

Slacking on my updates!

Sorry I haven't posted in several days. I really don't have an excuse as to why, but I use my IPad all the time now & it's hard to type on this (fast). I did update my measurements (check my measurements page) yesterday & proud to say at least that's shrinking. I'm still stuck between 254-256, but I'm going to up date my weight tomorrow cuz I didn't weigh myself this morning so we'll see.

I did work out yesterday & today & that's going very well & I'm feeling pretty good. I put my jeans on this weekend & they are feeling more comfortable, I really hope I can get rid of this extra "pregnancy" skin hanging from my belly w/o surgery.

Anyways, I have an interview with the place my sisters work at this Thursday at 10am so please say a prayer for me that I'm a good fit & that its something I want to do & can do well. Then I have an interview on the 29th so maybe one of these will be a good fit, I HOPE!

Here is my meals from yesterday & today:

Breakfast:

1/14- Cheerios & silk almond milk
1/15- same as above

Lunch:

1/14- steamed vegetable melody
1/15- salami sandwich

Dinner:

1/14- summer sausage w/ sourkraught (sp?) veggies, au gratin potatoes
1/15- sloppy joes w/ sweet potato fries

Until next time..... My show is about to come on.

Great day

I worked out this morning after I dropped the twins off at school & it actually worked out perfect. I am so proud to say I even got my shower in before having to pick them up (anyone that's a mom will understand my excitement here), thank you jake for sleeping. My run actually felt great today & easy like I'm almost ready to pick up the speed from 5.2 to 5.4 now, but I think I'm going to finish out my week first and see how the next two workouts go & if still as good as today went then ill think about moving the speed up or maybe going longer at the same speed, we'll see.

I'm also happy that the scale showed that I went down another pound & at 255.0,so that makes me happy, plus I put on my pre-twin pregnancy jeans today & they are getting loser at the waist band so even though I was stuck in a rut & not loosing weight the past two weeks at least my measurements are moving, ill have to up date them. I'm happy with that too as long as its coming off somewhere.

Oh, and we'll be taking the kids to The Great Wolf Lodge on the 19th so I have to really watch my diet & what I eat in the next two weeks cuz ill have to wear a bathing suit (oh Gosh). But I do have to remember I lost 50 some pounds since Summer last year so ill look a little better but just not were I wanna be. I'm just happy that my BFF Pam mentioned this to us today & that we can do it. My kids really aren't huge fans of water cuz they aren't subjected to it as often as I'd like (I had a pool growing up). So I hope that they have fun & actually go in the water & down the slides.

Anyways here is my meals for today:

Breakfast:
Coffee w/ cream & sugar
Bowl of Cheerios

Lunch:
Salad w/ bacon, onions ,shredded cheese & ranch dressing

Dinner:

Potato & cheese perrogies w/ onion & I made some home made carrot French fries (OMG, they are awesome)

Well until next time.........

Skip day

Well today I missed my workout & a lot of it is b/c my husband decided to take the day off & when he does it always messes up my schedule but I know that really isn't a good excuse b/c I'm sure if I wanted I probably could have found a way to get it in & now I wish I would have. I thought I was on track & that I ate pretty good today but I am actually over my calorie goal for the day. This is what I ate:

Breakfast
Coffee w/ cream & sugar ( I have to start cutting back on the sugar to safe on calories & sugar intake)
Green monster smoothie

Lunch
Salad w/ shredded cheer & bacon & onion

Dinner
Macaroni noodles w/ seasoned ground beef & shredded cheese.

I did not snack on anything, but I feel gross. This morning I took Joey & we went to a craft store looking for stuff to make stuff for them & keep them busy, but there really wasn't much. Then we went to Bed Bath & beyond & didn't find much there, then we went grocery shopping at SAMs Club. Then when I got home I had to put everything away then eat lunch myself. Then I swept & mopped all the floors, so even though I didn't workout I did keep busy all day this is my first time sitting down.

I did get my workout in yesterday & I have to say it was a hard one, not in the intensity just that the run was trying, but I did it. I cannot wait to workout tomorrow & it'll be an early workout cuz the twins go back to school.

I'm feeling that I'm in a rut & need to seriously reevaluate my diet & do some adjusting so that I can get back to my 2lbs a week again, cuz damn I was feeling good. I have also been very tired lately & not really sure why, it could be that Joey has been waking up screaming & banging on the door wanting to sleep in our bed, but I try hard not to fall for it but then he wakes up the other two & I'm ting to comfort the youngest (jake) & get him back to sleep.

Well that's about it for now, until next time.............

A little update!

I'm posting from my birthday gift a new IPad, so I'm not sure this is going to be long b/c it takes awhile to type. Anyways I did complete my workouts last Thursday & Friday, but I did not get them my last one in over the weekend. I did eat pretty decent but Saturday was a very horrible day ( I may go into detail another time).

Well I swear I'm stuck right now & need to rearrange my diet to get my weight loss moving again. I've been stuck at the same weight for about two weeks almost three I believe & that's ruining my pace, but I know it happens and you just have to adjust. I'm determined to lose at least 25-30 more lbs by summer & if I can keep doing what I have since October then I can do it, so it is a realistic goal.

I will post my meals from today when I get back on my laptop tomorrow & I can update more.

Hope all is well and that everyone is having a much better 2013 then I am so far, God I hope it gets better.

Until next time........

Happy New year

OMG, I just ate two pieces of pizza & have absolutely no reason why.  I didn't need it & I wasn't hungry by any means cuz I ate dinner.   I was just sitting her on the computer & all off sudden craved the pizza from last night so I went to get one & ended up w/ two.   I am so very disappointed in myself b/c I did already eat a snack.   I'm going to blame this on PMS since my monthly visitor is due in at least 5 days.   I was doing so good today too.  I did get my workout in (thankfully) & it felt good.   I will have to maybe add another work out in tomorrow b/c of the pizza eating, Ugh.

Well today was a bit stressful in my personal life.   My trio was very whinny & clingy today & I was in the mood to just be left alone.  I cried alot today from frustration & self pitty.  Have you've ever felt that you're being lied to? I am feeling this way right now & I wish I was stronger to stand up for myself.  I wish I could say what I truly think.  My problem is I keep everything bottled up & I so bad want someone I can talk to someone I can seek advice on what to do & for them to be sensitive to my feelings.  I just don't understand why I'm always the one that is getting screwed here.  If I was to do half of the stuff I would be scolded.  I cannot do much b/c of the kids (which I DO NOT regret at all, don't read that the wrong way) but DH doesn't like me doing much b/c that leaves him alone w/ the kids, how is that fair???  He's the father, to keep my sanity I need to get out.

Well enough about that, here is my meals from today:

Breakfast:
coffee w/ cream & sugar
two egg whites on wheat toast w/ cheese

Lunch:
leftover pork roast w/ green beans

Dinner:
Herbed chicken w/ rice casserole & I added in veggies myself.

Snack:
Reese's peanut butter ice cream bar
Two damn pieces of pizza..

Until next time..................

15 Healthy Easy Breakfast Casserole Recipes | FaveHealthyRecipes.com

15 Healthy Easy Breakfast Casserole Recipes | FaveHealthyRecipes.com

Fell off the wagon!

Oh I did bad eating yesterday & today.  I started off good on Monday ate a good breakfast & lunch & even worked out, but dinner time we ate pizza & I drank lots & lots of beers for New Years Eve.  I woke up hung over today & I just knew my workout wasn't happening.  I did want to workout on Sunday but for some reason I wasn't feeling very good I was very nausea's & dizzy. 

Well I don't have much more to say b/c I am planning on doing lots of research tonight & go to bed early tonight.  I'm really scared to get on the scale tomorrow, that's why I didn't get on today.

Hope everyone had a safe & fun New Years...   Here's to 2013 & lots of changes for me.

Until next time......