Wow, I have been meaning to sign in and update my blog for sometime now but with the holidays and that it went by to fast and now I realize that my last update was about a month and a half ago. I failed, yet again and I apologize for it.
On the weightloss side of things it just is not happening, in fact I've gained weight (AGAIN) in the last month and a half. I know what I weighed 2 weeks ago but with Christmas passing and that I know it's gotta be worse. I will not step on a scale again until Friday, January 1, 2016 and I will then record how much I have gained :-( I have vowed to myself and for my kids sake that on that day I am kicking my workouts and diets up a few gears. I'm sick of looking at myself and I'm sick of feeling this way. I am pushing up on the weight when I was 9 months pregnant with my last 4 years ago and that is just flat out disgusting. I'm 40 years old and with a few months of dieting and that and not losing much I have realized that with age this weightloss is definitely much harder then it was years ago when I was in my mid 20's, but I also had the help of an ex-boyfriend then and he encouraged my to my weightloss of 65 lbs and made me become the gym rat I was and I never felt better. I want that again, I want that feeling of health, happiness and energy. I DO understand that since it has been almost 10-15 years ago that I won't feel completely like that but to be close enough would be my goal.
I will wake up in the mornings not worrying what for clothing still fit me, and I will be able to put on an outfit and feel comfortable and look good in it. I will stop shopping in the Plus size departments and be able to afford cute clothing again. I will no longer make up excuses as to why I didn't or can't workout. After a few comments I've received from family and seeing myself in pictures and knowing that all my clothing in my closet I only fit into a select few items these past few months, I am determined that as of January 1st I am changing my life. There will be no more beer (until I reach my goal) I will allow myself an occasional glass of wine, but no more beer. I will eat healthy so I can set a perfect example for my children. I will get up and run/walk on the treadmill every morning and then try to squeeze the gym (for weights) in when I can. This is the only thing that will change me is me setting my mind to it. I can do this, and I will. I have been having trouble bending over without my big ole "Fupa" getting in the way and I'm sick of looking at it.
All I'm asking is for motivation from anyone, just a message or daily text or whatever to make sure I am on track and that I did workout and if I didn't then motivation to get me moving. I am limited on times to get to the gym due to children and work, but there is time so bare with me. I know I do better when I have people checking up on me because I do not want to disappoint so I want to look forward to the check up so I can message back "yep, I did it I ran and did weights and here is my meals for today" instead of dreading a message because I don't want to have to tell you that I was lazy and didn't do anything.
I am sick of all these aches and pains much of them associated with my weight, but some associated with prior injuries but can be managed if I was in shape and smaller. I have been snoring and I know it's related to my weight because I can feel the pressure of my fat roll up to my throat when I lay on my back.
Anyways, who's with me??? Don't be afraid, motivation from friends and family or even strangers is the key to success. Sometimes you just can't do things alone.
OK, that is all for now. Much has happened in the last month and a half but I will go over another time for I am limited on time right now.
I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year. I will check in on Friday, January 1st which is the start of my "New" 2016 the new me, the healthy and happy ) at least fitness ways) me!!!
Thank you and until next time....
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Checking In - MIA!
Hello, I would like to apologize for being MIA, falling off the face of the earth or whatever you want to call it. It hasn't been good weightloss wise.
I have failed no one but myself these past several months, I cannot point fingers or make excuses because there are none. I am back up in weight, in the past 2 months I have gained 15 lbs, yes I have put 15 lbs back on and I am so totally disgusted with myself it's depressing (276.2). I have no pants that fit m anymore except for my PJ bottoms and sweats and yes that is what I wear. On Halloween I actually just thru on an old robe and told people I'm going as a house wife only so I can wear my PJ's and not be looked at funny.
So, I quit going to Physicians Weightloss Clinic about 2 months ago and because for a few months I was limited to what I could eat I started indulging in foods that were taken away from me on that diet and it got out of hand. I stopped going to the Clinic because it was getting to be to much with sneaking out for an hour at work to go get weighed in 3 times a week and then meals were getting crazy and I fell off the wagon and hit the ground HARD.
I sit here waiting for my wake up call (like I got when I lost a bunch of weight before, it was a picture). I am waiting for something that just totally disgusts me and changes my view on life. You'd think it was the way my clothes feel or how I don't want to be in any pictures with my kids (Hence why we have no family photos) and yes I know I will regret it later in life, but right now I don't care. I already regret having no family photos of us when the kids were younger. For instance the twins were told to bring in a "family" picture to school so they can hang it up for the year and I didn't have one, not one of all 5 of us together. So I had to give them a picture of just them. That hurt me and still does. I have made it my goal to get family pictures this Spring and it will be up to me if I want to be smaller or a whale. Either or the pictures WILL be taken with all 5 of us.
Recently we went to a wedding for my cousin and OMG, the photo's of me are disgusting, I am HUGE and don't tell me otherwise because we all know the truth. Here are a couple pictures of me from 10/24 and yes see how gross I am. I am the one in black pants and a blue shirt.
I have failed no one but myself these past several months, I cannot point fingers or make excuses because there are none. I am back up in weight, in the past 2 months I have gained 15 lbs, yes I have put 15 lbs back on and I am so totally disgusted with myself it's depressing (276.2). I have no pants that fit m anymore except for my PJ bottoms and sweats and yes that is what I wear. On Halloween I actually just thru on an old robe and told people I'm going as a house wife only so I can wear my PJ's and not be looked at funny.
So, I quit going to Physicians Weightloss Clinic about 2 months ago and because for a few months I was limited to what I could eat I started indulging in foods that were taken away from me on that diet and it got out of hand. I stopped going to the Clinic because it was getting to be to much with sneaking out for an hour at work to go get weighed in 3 times a week and then meals were getting crazy and I fell off the wagon and hit the ground HARD.
I sit here waiting for my wake up call (like I got when I lost a bunch of weight before, it was a picture). I am waiting for something that just totally disgusts me and changes my view on life. You'd think it was the way my clothes feel or how I don't want to be in any pictures with my kids (Hence why we have no family photos) and yes I know I will regret it later in life, but right now I don't care. I already regret having no family photos of us when the kids were younger. For instance the twins were told to bring in a "family" picture to school so they can hang it up for the year and I didn't have one, not one of all 5 of us together. So I had to give them a picture of just them. That hurt me and still does. I have made it my goal to get family pictures this Spring and it will be up to me if I want to be smaller or a whale. Either or the pictures WILL be taken with all 5 of us.
Recently we went to a wedding for my cousin and OMG, the photo's of me are disgusting, I am HUGE and don't tell me otherwise because we all know the truth. Here are a couple pictures of me from 10/24 and yes see how gross I am. I am the one in black pants and a blue shirt.
Just pathetic and it seems that I just don't care anymore, which is wrong I do care I don't want to get diabetes, high blood pressure, or whatever else comes with obesity. I currently am blessed enough to not have any of that, but it won't be long before that changes if I don't do any major changes myself.
I am lacking serious motivation. I come home and after taking care of the kids I just want to sit on the couch and to absolutely nothing. I want to start running again and I did a few times last week and did great, but the motivation is lost again. I walk with a co-worker for 2 miles at lunch time but then fail when food is presented. I seem to be hungry ALL the time and I don't know why. I need someone to truly push me, someone to help me with my food choices. I want to set a healthy life style for my kids and in order to do that I have to become healthy myself. I want my kids to be active and enjoy doing things active and enjoy eating healthy and making healthy choices. My this is my motivation, maybe it is in them, but I just haven't seen it or put blinders on. That is it, I have to do this for my children. I am 40 years old and this weight is only going to get worse with age and all the fun things that comes with being a woman. So if I want to be healthy in 5 years from now I need to make major changes starting right NOW not tomorrow not next week, but right NOW. I need to do this for children but most importantly myself. Whenever I lack motivation I will look at my children.
The other day I downloaded this app on my Galaxy phone called Fooducate because I've heard good things from it. I am still in the learning/adapting phase of it, but so far I like it. It is set to tell me if the things I am eating are paleo and if it is not it will give me alternatives for a better healthier choice. It also grades the food you are about to consume or buy based on preservatives and added stuff that is not good for you. Like I said I have just started and adjusting to it, so I will let you know how it is going next time I update. #fooducate.
Oh and on a great note I am 5 months quit, meaning I have not touched a smoke in 5 months. I can officially say I am smoke free and I hope to remain this way for the rest of my life. I have had so many positive benefits from it and I feel great, now to just get this weight under control too.
Also, this Friday marks a very, very sad day for me (11/20) it will be exactly a year from when my father passed away unexpectedly. I will remember that day like it just happened, but I am so happy that I took the time out on my lunch break that day to go over to my parents and see them, and on my way home from work I called them and talked to them on the phone, because only an hour after that call I got another call from my mom telling me EMS is taking dad to the hospital because he collapsed and is unresponsive. I didn't know what to do, I was so numb. My husband had just left to take Joey to Urgicare because he was puking and saying he was having a hard time breathing. I couldn't find anyone to come over to watch the other two so I could go to the hospital. Thankfully my husband ended up just leaving urgicare and coming home so I could go (Joe ended up being better). I cried the whole way to the hospital and my brother was on his way too from work. I called my sisters and my very close friends crying because I was so worried. I walked into the Emergency room and went to the counter and right after I gave them my dad's name I knew, I knew by their expression that it was bad, very, very bad. My cousin Shannon (she's a nurse there) met me at the door and I knew cuz I saw my brother father-in-law and when she took me to a room instead of where my father was I knew it was over and then saw my mom in the room crying and shaking her heard and I just started balling. Trying to call my husband and sisters to tell them. Then my bother arrived and it was hard. Then my husband found a babysitter and came up to support us and then we got to go see my dad. I picture him laying on the bed lifeless. Ugh, worst day of my life by far. All happened only one week from Thanksgiving so yes that holiday sucked. They said they did everything they could for him and they believe it was a heart attack that did it. I personally think he was gone before they arrived. My mom had to perform CPR on him until EMS got there. For those of you that were blessed to ever get to know my dad you know what I wonderful and great man he was. I was "Daddy's little girl" I loved him more then everything.
Here are two pictures of my dad and I.
Until next time.......
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Summer's ending & school's starting... Camping season is almost done.
Okay, okay so I have been bad lately with keeping my blog up-to-date. It has been almost a month since I last updated. Ugh, what have I been doing.
This picture is right on... Face palm! I will say allot has been going on and no my life has not slowed down yet (I'm still waiting for the slow period). Camping season is coming to an end we probably have about a month and a half left before burring it for the season. I do have to say I'm sorta looking forward to spending weekends at home and not drinking 4 days in a row (because we all know that is not helping my weight).
Labor Day was just this past Monday and I took Thursday 9/3 till Tuesday 9/8 off and spent the first two days cleaning and getting all packed for our camping trip to Clay's Park Resort, pretty awesome place and so much for the kids to do and they love it there. Here a a couple of pictures of the Lake.
Yes that is my son Jake in the left of the picture
Here are some more from this weekend of the kids and one of I.
Someone made a giant Slip N Slide for the kids
This is my daughter Addisyn & my baby Jake (left)
Here are the twins Joseph & Addisyn (left)
And me being bad with that evil Bud Light in my hand.
So this was the 4 days in a row of drinking and drinking heavily. Plus add on that I didn't eat well either. Shake my head. We left Monday morning as soon as we woke up and packed up. On Sunday I woke up with the start of a sinus cold, sneeze, stuffy head & scratchy throat and by the time I got home on Monday I had a major sinus headache and runny/stuffy nose, throat hurt and fevers. I am feeling a bit better just dealing with a chest cough but my sinus have cleared up somewhat just still congested. That's about all for the weekend. I do have to say this coming weekend nothing is planed except my daughters dance class starts Friday night and then I have my cousins bridal shower on Sunday (shit I have to buy a gift, ugh).
My twins have officially started Kindergarten. Their first day was on September 1st and they say they like it so far. They have gym class twice a week and computer class and art class. They look so grown up.
First day of school Class of 2028
In their gym uniforms
Then my baby Jake started Pre-K and this is his first time without having the twins there with him and he did much better than I expected and he is enjoying it, just last night at dinner he told me he liked that he didn't have to fight with them, LOL.
First day
Now for my weightloss, well as you can see in the picture of myself above I have been bad and need to stop drinking those Bud Lights if I expect to lose. I down as of this morning, but I should be down much more if I ate the way I was supposed to over the weekend and if I didn't drink. I say this all the time but I never follow it, but I need to stop playing and I need to stop this yo yo stuff and get serious about my goals. I paid Physicians Weightloss Center to help me and they are but it's me that keeps slacking on the weekends. They put me on a very low calorie diet (400 calories a day) and every 4 days I go up 100 calories and right now I'm on the mainstay which is 700 calories. Which worked awesome in the beginning until I hit these damn weekends. That is why I said I am down from last Friday when I weighed in buy maybe by only a pound or 2 and I technically should be down at least 5-8 lbs by tomorrow. I have not gone to weigh in this week because I am embarrassed with letting myself down yet again. I usually weigh in Monday, Wednesdays & Fridays, but because they were closed for the holiday on Monday they said if I come in on Tuesday I will get a free week added to my contract, but when I saw the scale Tuesday morning and because I was sick I decided to skip and then Wednesday I was still embarrassed about the weight, so I will go tomorrow and see what happens, yes I do feel bad about skipping and I'll feel bad going in tomorrow and feel like I'll have to make excuses for myself when in reality its me, not them, not the food, not my family, friends, work it is no ones fault except for myself and I am also the only one that has to stop and get serious and determined if I want to keep this weightloss moving. I have till November when my contract is up and I can be down at least 50 lbs if I stick to it. I should be down 70-80 lbs if I stayed strong the whole time I've been doing this. I have to stay strong and fight temptation. Shoot I've been smoke free for 86 days now and I fought that so I can do this.
My company has a gym on site for employees and family. One of my co-workers and I were talking today and her and I are going to hold each other accountable and start going over there at lunch time starting Monday 9/14 and I plan on just walking on the treadmill for 45-50 mins (because I will not have time to shower so I do not want to get all sweaty like I usually do when I run or lift weights, plus I still plan on going to my gym in the evening after the kids are in bed, but I will feel better getting some form of exercise in at lunch instead of just sitting at the lunch table for an hour talking. Also if my DH has darts one night or something else comes up (Addisyn's dance class) and I cannot get to the gym then I'll feel better knowing that at least I did 45-50 mins of exercise during the day. I know that I will more then likely do this because I have someone counting on me being there with them and this person I have to face all day long if I don't. Well see how it goes starting next week.
Well I've typed allot more then I planned on and I gotta run. Until next time (which hopefully is sooner than a month from now)... Take care.
Oh and I will have an updated on this new Heart Rate Monitor and Key finder that I have been trying out for a place called Beets Blu.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Mixture of things
This 1st paragraph is not about weight loss but I truly need to get it out and vent, I'm bottling up to much right now:
I have been supper busy with life in general and I know it will only get worse with school starting shortly and all the sports starting up again. Yes, I know it only gets worse the older they get. This past weekend we ended up going "Cave Man Camping" with my BFF and her family and even though I am all for glamour camping any day it wasn't that bad, but I will tell you that I will never do that type of camping again. It's not for me, I want the necessities at least (ea: toilet, running water) I wasn't happy with peeing outside all the time and it wasn't like the bathrooms were close enough to walk to every time you had to go especially after drinking and daylight left us. Then leave it to my wonderful DH who decided to treat me like shit all weekend. I couldn't do anything right this weekend, nothing. He just seemed so distant and so out of the picture every time. He didn't join in on anything that we all did. I thought I was doing good with getting everything ready and all the food prepared and ready to cook and I even let him know what I was planning on making, but he insisted that he didn't want my stupid chicken ka-bobs and absolutely needed to go to a Walmart to buy a steak and toys. Now mind you we were in a State park in Pennsylvania so the nearest Walmart was about 45-60 minutes away and then he had my 5 year old son come with him so that made him miss out on some of the fun activities that we did with the kids at that moment. Anyways we did nothing but basically argue the whole time and then it continued when we got home all the way till today. So Sunday I drove home which was a 3 hour trip and he slept and then as soon as we got home he went to bed and slept from about 12:30 till 5:45 when I woke him up because I had to go to softball. he slept the whole time my mom & nephew where there (Mom brought him over because he is going home Wednesday and so we can see him & say good bye). Then when he woke up he was still dozing off on the couch and yes that made me a bit scared to leave for softball. I got home around 8 pm and everyone was up in bed and yes he found some reason to yell at me and make something all my fault. I truly don't know what he does with the kids when he's home or what he doesn't do. So then he proceeds to call in sick on Monday and slept till about noon when he then lets the sitter go home and then brings the kids all up to our bedrooms to lay down some more and have the kids watch a movie. I have no idea how long they stayed up there, but nothing was accomplished. Then he went to bed at 7 pm right when it was time to give the kids baths. So I again give baths and then deal with everything else after I unpacked from camping and played with the kids and played softball and then when to work a full day and then came home and played with the kids again, do I ever get asked if I want a break, if I want to sit back or go to bed and he'll take care of everything for the night, NO never have I EVER in the 9.5 years been asked or even mentioned this to me. I don't know but I will tell you that ever since he had this weight loss surgery back in March he has been nothing but MEAN to me and rude and distant. I'm sick of it, sick and tired of it. He's very quick to blame this on me and tell me that I bitch to much and he's sick of it, we'll if anyone had to put up with what I do they would bitch too. I get no help with the kids or the house work, and then when I do bust my ass to get things done only to have the other "adult" in the house come home and mess everything up or just be flat out disgusting slob and never close, throw, clean up anything then yes I have every right to bitch. I would think if I had help then I wouldn't have to bitch so much or if he actually cared once to listen to what I was saying the first time then I wouldn't have to repeat myself to make sure you heard me or acknowledge that you heard me. He never talks and we never talk, anytime I try to have a conversation I give up because he isn't listening or acts like he doesn't care. I cannot remember the last time I actually got to sit and enjoy a conversation with him. I knew this going into the marriage why did I think that was going to change and then he has absolutely no compassion at all, no sensitive side at all and if you look at his immediate family they are the same so I should have known better. I truly miss compassion, loyalty, hearing the words "I love you" come from him or even wanting to spend a evening with me talking and relaxing. Shoot even a kiss. He doesn't even say good bye anymore when he leaves, just walks out the door and then I have to call him to see what is going on and where he's going. He doesn't even ask me if I had plans or such he just assumes I never have plans and so he gets to make plans and go out. I make plans and he automatically throws me the guilt trip, for instance going to the gym at night when the kids are in bed. I can't tell you how many times I have cried driving to the gym just because his reactions or words make me feel like I'm a bad mom for wanting to do something for myself.
So anyways there is much more, but I need to stop venting and update you on my weight loss or Lack of.
Anyways, I at again have fallen off of the weight loss wagon and I am back up 4 lbs. I do not understand why I constantly keep doing this to myself. Why do I let the weekends just destroy what I worked hard for during the week. I did Ok camping this weekend but I did not stick to my PWLC eating plan and plus I had drinks Thursday thru Saturday so that is a HUGE no, no! So to continue my streak starting last Thursday I have continued to eat unhealthy. I ate good at breakfast & lunch yesterday but then at dinner time he ordered Italian subs, cal zones & pizza so yes I ate my whole sub and some of the cal-zone and pizza. Then this morning I ate one of a cheese stick and a bagel. For lunch I had fish with seasoned veggies (I was good there) but then I munched on someones birthday cake and I had the extra frosting from another co-workers slice. Yes, I felt absolutely miserable after eating it. Plus I skipped the gym yesterday in hopes that I could get to bed early and get a good night sleep, well my sleep sucked last night because I was up constantly. I truly hate the days right before my period, ugh. I cave all the time and yes I know I need to stop, it's just hard and I need more will power. This diet will not work if I do not stick to it. I need to get myself together and get back to it. My weigh-in tomorrow is going to be ugly after these past two days, but no one to blame but myself. I am planning on going back to the gym tonight (Oh yeah I only went 2 days last week or maybe only 1 day I forget now). I am going to yet again get myself back on track. If I want to lose 60 lbs by November than I need to get back to it and starting right now, not tomorrow, now!
So I am determined to pick myself up and keep going, not to let a few days ruin what I have come so far. I will get better at this diet/weight loss thing and it will soon become second nature.
On another bright note is I am 56 days smoke free and still going strong.
Until next time.............. I hope I have better things to report.
I have been supper busy with life in general and I know it will only get worse with school starting shortly and all the sports starting up again. Yes, I know it only gets worse the older they get. This past weekend we ended up going "Cave Man Camping" with my BFF and her family and even though I am all for glamour camping any day it wasn't that bad, but I will tell you that I will never do that type of camping again. It's not for me, I want the necessities at least (ea: toilet, running water) I wasn't happy with peeing outside all the time and it wasn't like the bathrooms were close enough to walk to every time you had to go especially after drinking and daylight left us. Then leave it to my wonderful DH who decided to treat me like shit all weekend. I couldn't do anything right this weekend, nothing. He just seemed so distant and so out of the picture every time. He didn't join in on anything that we all did. I thought I was doing good with getting everything ready and all the food prepared and ready to cook and I even let him know what I was planning on making, but he insisted that he didn't want my stupid chicken ka-bobs and absolutely needed to go to a Walmart to buy a steak and toys. Now mind you we were in a State park in Pennsylvania so the nearest Walmart was about 45-60 minutes away and then he had my 5 year old son come with him so that made him miss out on some of the fun activities that we did with the kids at that moment. Anyways we did nothing but basically argue the whole time and then it continued when we got home all the way till today. So Sunday I drove home which was a 3 hour trip and he slept and then as soon as we got home he went to bed and slept from about 12:30 till 5:45 when I woke him up because I had to go to softball. he slept the whole time my mom & nephew where there (Mom brought him over because he is going home Wednesday and so we can see him & say good bye). Then when he woke up he was still dozing off on the couch and yes that made me a bit scared to leave for softball. I got home around 8 pm and everyone was up in bed and yes he found some reason to yell at me and make something all my fault. I truly don't know what he does with the kids when he's home or what he doesn't do. So then he proceeds to call in sick on Monday and slept till about noon when he then lets the sitter go home and then brings the kids all up to our bedrooms to lay down some more and have the kids watch a movie. I have no idea how long they stayed up there, but nothing was accomplished. Then he went to bed at 7 pm right when it was time to give the kids baths. So I again give baths and then deal with everything else after I unpacked from camping and played with the kids and played softball and then when to work a full day and then came home and played with the kids again, do I ever get asked if I want a break, if I want to sit back or go to bed and he'll take care of everything for the night, NO never have I EVER in the 9.5 years been asked or even mentioned this to me. I don't know but I will tell you that ever since he had this weight loss surgery back in March he has been nothing but MEAN to me and rude and distant. I'm sick of it, sick and tired of it. He's very quick to blame this on me and tell me that I bitch to much and he's sick of it, we'll if anyone had to put up with what I do they would bitch too. I get no help with the kids or the house work, and then when I do bust my ass to get things done only to have the other "adult" in the house come home and mess everything up or just be flat out disgusting slob and never close, throw, clean up anything then yes I have every right to bitch. I would think if I had help then I wouldn't have to bitch so much or if he actually cared once to listen to what I was saying the first time then I wouldn't have to repeat myself to make sure you heard me or acknowledge that you heard me. He never talks and we never talk, anytime I try to have a conversation I give up because he isn't listening or acts like he doesn't care. I cannot remember the last time I actually got to sit and enjoy a conversation with him. I knew this going into the marriage why did I think that was going to change and then he has absolutely no compassion at all, no sensitive side at all and if you look at his immediate family they are the same so I should have known better. I truly miss compassion, loyalty, hearing the words "I love you" come from him or even wanting to spend a evening with me talking and relaxing. Shoot even a kiss. He doesn't even say good bye anymore when he leaves, just walks out the door and then I have to call him to see what is going on and where he's going. He doesn't even ask me if I had plans or such he just assumes I never have plans and so he gets to make plans and go out. I make plans and he automatically throws me the guilt trip, for instance going to the gym at night when the kids are in bed. I can't tell you how many times I have cried driving to the gym just because his reactions or words make me feel like I'm a bad mom for wanting to do something for myself.
Anyways, I at again have fallen off of the weight loss wagon and I am back up 4 lbs. I do not understand why I constantly keep doing this to myself. Why do I let the weekends just destroy what I worked hard for during the week. I did Ok camping this weekend but I did not stick to my PWLC eating plan and plus I had drinks Thursday thru Saturday so that is a HUGE no, no! So to continue my streak starting last Thursday I have continued to eat unhealthy. I ate good at breakfast & lunch yesterday but then at dinner time he ordered Italian subs, cal zones & pizza so yes I ate my whole sub and some of the cal-zone and pizza. Then this morning I ate one of a cheese stick and a bagel. For lunch I had fish with seasoned veggies (I was good there) but then I munched on someones birthday cake and I had the extra frosting from another co-workers slice. Yes, I felt absolutely miserable after eating it. Plus I skipped the gym yesterday in hopes that I could get to bed early and get a good night sleep, well my sleep sucked last night because I was up constantly. I truly hate the days right before my period, ugh. I cave all the time and yes I know I need to stop, it's just hard and I need more will power. This diet will not work if I do not stick to it. I need to get myself together and get back to it. My weigh-in tomorrow is going to be ugly after these past two days, but no one to blame but myself. I am planning on going back to the gym tonight (Oh yeah I only went 2 days last week or maybe only 1 day I forget now). I am going to yet again get myself back on track. If I want to lose 60 lbs by November than I need to get back to it and starting right now, not tomorrow, now!
So I am determined to pick myself up and keep going, not to let a few days ruin what I have come so far. I will get better at this diet/weight loss thing and it will soon become second nature.
On another bright note is I am 56 days smoke free and still going strong.
Until next time.............. I hope I have better things to report.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Changes are in the air
OK, just wanted to pop in and give everyone an update and to let you all know that yes I am still focused on my weight loss and on my no smoking. Today marks 43 days smoke free and I feel so much better. I can tell the difference in my sleep because I am not awake coughing or snoring, my night cough is gone and my snoring is getting better with the more weight I lose. I do still cough occasionally but no longer cough nasty stuff up out of my lungs. It is very rare but when I cough it is just a little dry cough. I have noticed a difference with my ability to walk/ride/run. All and all it just feels awesome and I am going to try very hard to NEVER light up again.
So as for the weight loss I am still going to the gym at night and now that the kids T-Ball is over I can go every night during the week. I cannot wait till my DH is finished with lawn cutting season so I can start going at a little more decent hour (8 pm instead of 9 pm). I have been doing 45-50 minutes on the treadmill which I walk the first five minutes at 3.5 mph and then I rotate every three minutes I run for 4.8 mph and then walk for two minutes at 3.5 and so forth until I reach 48 minutes which I then walk at 4.0 mph for two minutes and then go down in speed until I've reached the 45-50 minute mark. I like this way because it makes the time go quicker by breaking things up and it gets my heart rate going. I also heard somewhere it's what to do to burn fat is to do intervals. Yesterdays cardio was a tad bit rough though. As far as strength training: Monday and Wednesday's are leg and ab days and Tuesday and Thursday are upper body days. I haven't been able to do a Friday yet because of my softball games, but now that they are over I am going to try to get to the gym and I may just use those days for extra Cardio and abs. You can never have to much cardio, correct?!?!
The weekend again brought pain stepping on the scale. I truly, truly have to work on getting my weekends straightened out and this weekend we have no major plans except yard work and getting the house ready to sell so I can work on sticking to my diet (I hope). I am not going to drink (beer) this weekend, well at least I'm going to try not too. I got on the scale Monday morning and it read 270.0 and I am happy to report that this morning it said 263.5 , yes I know that is 6.5 lbs in 3 days, and most of it is probably water from the beer and such and YES I know I'm not suppose to weigh myself every day but I cannot help it and I get on it every morning (except the days I know it's going to be very, very bad). I only record my weight though once a week and today is the day so I am happy it is down. The reason though that I am upset with myself is because think about it if I didn't mess up every weekend than I would be down in weight allot more then I am now, but because I work so hard during the week and then I gain back all I worked for on the weekends so then I play catch up during the 1st half of the week. I have to stop that and work on it better. I am going to try this weekend.
My goal by this time or the end of next week is to be in the 250''s which I haven't been since right before my father passed away. By Christmas I should be close to 200's which I haven't been since I got married in October 2005. I will be wearing a bathing suit proudly next Summer and not worrying about my weight or how I look in clothing because I will fit well in anything I put on by Summer 2016.
Another feel good thing I'm going to do for myself this weekend is get my haircut. I have an appointment on Saturday at 11 am and I am trying to decide on what I want. Short, medium with bangs without bangs, with layers without layers and for the first time in my life maybe highlights in my hair to bring out my red hair since the sun has turned it very, very strawberry blonde this Summer. I will let you know what I decided to go with and I will take a picture (if I'm happy with the results).
Well until next time stay healthy and keep cool (Yes Ohio has finally gotten their Summer weather, just a tad bit late.)
Jennie
So as for the weight loss I am still going to the gym at night and now that the kids T-Ball is over I can go every night during the week. I cannot wait till my DH is finished with lawn cutting season so I can start going at a little more decent hour (8 pm instead of 9 pm). I have been doing 45-50 minutes on the treadmill which I walk the first five minutes at 3.5 mph and then I rotate every three minutes I run for 4.8 mph and then walk for two minutes at 3.5 and so forth until I reach 48 minutes which I then walk at 4.0 mph for two minutes and then go down in speed until I've reached the 45-50 minute mark. I like this way because it makes the time go quicker by breaking things up and it gets my heart rate going. I also heard somewhere it's what to do to burn fat is to do intervals. Yesterdays cardio was a tad bit rough though. As far as strength training: Monday and Wednesday's are leg and ab days and Tuesday and Thursday are upper body days. I haven't been able to do a Friday yet because of my softball games, but now that they are over I am going to try to get to the gym and I may just use those days for extra Cardio and abs. You can never have to much cardio, correct?!?!
The weekend again brought pain stepping on the scale. I truly, truly have to work on getting my weekends straightened out and this weekend we have no major plans except yard work and getting the house ready to sell so I can work on sticking to my diet (I hope). I am not going to drink (beer) this weekend, well at least I'm going to try not too. I got on the scale Monday morning and it read 270.0 and I am happy to report that this morning it said 263.5 , yes I know that is 6.5 lbs in 3 days, and most of it is probably water from the beer and such and YES I know I'm not suppose to weigh myself every day but I cannot help it and I get on it every morning (except the days I know it's going to be very, very bad). I only record my weight though once a week and today is the day so I am happy it is down. The reason though that I am upset with myself is because think about it if I didn't mess up every weekend than I would be down in weight allot more then I am now, but because I work so hard during the week and then I gain back all I worked for on the weekends so then I play catch up during the 1st half of the week. I have to stop that and work on it better. I am going to try this weekend.
My goal by this time or the end of next week is to be in the 250''s which I haven't been since right before my father passed away. By Christmas I should be close to 200's which I haven't been since I got married in October 2005. I will be wearing a bathing suit proudly next Summer and not worrying about my weight or how I look in clothing because I will fit well in anything I put on by Summer 2016.
Another feel good thing I'm going to do for myself this weekend is get my haircut. I have an appointment on Saturday at 11 am and I am trying to decide on what I want. Short, medium with bangs without bangs, with layers without layers and for the first time in my life maybe highlights in my hair to bring out my red hair since the sun has turned it very, very strawberry blonde this Summer. I will let you know what I decided to go with and I will take a picture (if I'm happy with the results).
Well until next time stay healthy and keep cool (Yes Ohio has finally gotten their Summer weather, just a tad bit late.)
Jennie
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Weekend Recap
Hello, I am proud to say that everything that I posted about in the last post (from the past weekend) got accomplished. We did go to the drive in on Saturday night to see The Minions and before that we had dinner at Aces and it was a very nice family night out. Something we have to do more often and we currently do not do enough of. We ended up getting to the drive in an hour and a half early and it is a good thing we did because we got in the 2nd row and the line was soon wrapping up onto the street and the movie started at 9:40 which there were still cars coming in after 10 pm. We took my DH's truck there and we brought blanket and pillows for the kids, not for ourselves and I have to tell you it was very uncomfortable, my butt and back was killing me the whole time. I also finished painting the front porch and painted the whole deck myself that day, so that probably added to it. So because DH and I were very uncomfortable we opted out of staying for the second movie (Inside Out) which was OK because it was already after midnight and the kids were sound asleep before we got on the main road. Next time we decided we are going to bring an air mattress and blow it up and put it in the bed of the truck.
Sunday I ended up not going to the Indians game with the family because I had way to much I had to get done before my 6 pm softball game. After they left I went to my new gym Planet Fitness and got my T-shirt and swipe key and walked around to get an idea of the set up. Then I went to my former gym Fitness 19 and signed the papers to cancel my membership with them. Then I went home and cleaned the house (1st floor only) and did 8 loads of laundry including the sheets, blankets and all the bath towels. So, the Indians game started at 1:05 pm and it was very lightly sprinkling all day off and on, well I got a call from DH about 12:45 to come pick up my 3 year old because he wouldn't stop screaming and crying. Here's the thing about that, he got catch in a start of a thunder/lightening storm at T-Ball practice one day (I was not there I was with Addisyn at her dance rehearsal) and he hid under a tree crying and frightened and then they called practice. Then a few days later both boys went with DH one day to help him cut some grass and we got the worst storm we've had all season (4 huge trees on our street we're blown over) and he came home shaking and crying from fear. Well ever since all that he will not leave the house when he sees it raining or if it's about to rain. I mean we have a all out battle trying to get him out and then we won't stop crying. I have tried everything that I can think of to get him over this fear, but nothing is working. It is truly effecting the poor kid. I will keep working on it and if it continues bring it up to his doctor at his 4 year check up in September.
Oh and even though it was sprinkling off and on we still played my softball game on Sunday and we won 13-3 in 40 minutes (that is a fast game for co-ed). They were desperate to get the game in because we have had so many rain outs already.
Alright enough about that now on to my fitness/weight loss part of it. I weighed in at PWLC on Monday before lunch and I think I gained a lbs or two, but that wasn't surprising because it is a week before my period is due. I just added more water to my daily routine intake (which is over 256 Oz's) and I have stuck to my eating schedule. The scale at home was nice to me this morning and I was back down the pound. I also started at my new gym last night, which I got there about 8:30 and did 30 minutes on the treadmill which consisted of intervals of 2 minute walking, 2 minute running. Then I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and that was very bothersome to my knee, so tonight I'm going to stick to just the treadmill for 45-60 minutes. I then did a leg and ab workout. I got home at 10:30 and showered and was in bed before 11 pm. I have to say it felt great being back in the gym atmosphere. I felt wonderful afterwards. I was a little pissed at DH because he was already giving me a hard time about going (which the kids were already sound asleep before I even left) so it's not like he had much to do except take care of himself and go to sleep. Ugh, he pisses me off sometimes. All I want is to be able to do something for myself. It's been a very, very long time since I have been able to do something that I want to do. I'm always putting my family and others ahead of my happiness. Anyways, I'm excited to go back tonight and I've come to realize it may be later then normal on some days because I have to wait for DH to get home from his grass cuttings (he runs his own side job of lawn care) but I just hope he tries really hard to get home by 8;30 so it's not to late for me or I'm afraid I'm going to fall off the wagon.
Anyways, there is a huge thunderstorm that is hitting us right now so I better go and make sure everyone is good. Until next time............ Stay hydrated.....
Sunday I ended up not going to the Indians game with the family because I had way to much I had to get done before my 6 pm softball game. After they left I went to my new gym Planet Fitness and got my T-shirt and swipe key and walked around to get an idea of the set up. Then I went to my former gym Fitness 19 and signed the papers to cancel my membership with them. Then I went home and cleaned the house (1st floor only) and did 8 loads of laundry including the sheets, blankets and all the bath towels. So, the Indians game started at 1:05 pm and it was very lightly sprinkling all day off and on, well I got a call from DH about 12:45 to come pick up my 3 year old because he wouldn't stop screaming and crying. Here's the thing about that, he got catch in a start of a thunder/lightening storm at T-Ball practice one day (I was not there I was with Addisyn at her dance rehearsal) and he hid under a tree crying and frightened and then they called practice. Then a few days later both boys went with DH one day to help him cut some grass and we got the worst storm we've had all season (4 huge trees on our street we're blown over) and he came home shaking and crying from fear. Well ever since all that he will not leave the house when he sees it raining or if it's about to rain. I mean we have a all out battle trying to get him out and then we won't stop crying. I have tried everything that I can think of to get him over this fear, but nothing is working. It is truly effecting the poor kid. I will keep working on it and if it continues bring it up to his doctor at his 4 year check up in September.
Oh and even though it was sprinkling off and on we still played my softball game on Sunday and we won 13-3 in 40 minutes (that is a fast game for co-ed). They were desperate to get the game in because we have had so many rain outs already.
Alright enough about that now on to my fitness/weight loss part of it. I weighed in at PWLC on Monday before lunch and I think I gained a lbs or two, but that wasn't surprising because it is a week before my period is due. I just added more water to my daily routine intake (which is over 256 Oz's) and I have stuck to my eating schedule. The scale at home was nice to me this morning and I was back down the pound. I also started at my new gym last night, which I got there about 8:30 and did 30 minutes on the treadmill which consisted of intervals of 2 minute walking, 2 minute running. Then I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and that was very bothersome to my knee, so tonight I'm going to stick to just the treadmill for 45-60 minutes. I then did a leg and ab workout. I got home at 10:30 and showered and was in bed before 11 pm. I have to say it felt great being back in the gym atmosphere. I felt wonderful afterwards. I was a little pissed at DH because he was already giving me a hard time about going (which the kids were already sound asleep before I even left) so it's not like he had much to do except take care of himself and go to sleep. Ugh, he pisses me off sometimes. All I want is to be able to do something for myself. It's been a very, very long time since I have been able to do something that I want to do. I'm always putting my family and others ahead of my happiness. Anyways, I'm excited to go back tonight and I've come to realize it may be later then normal on some days because I have to wait for DH to get home from his grass cuttings (he runs his own side job of lawn care) but I just hope he tries really hard to get home by 8;30 so it's not to late for me or I'm afraid I'm going to fall off the wagon.
Anyways, there is a huge thunderstorm that is hitting us right now so I better go and make sure everyone is good. Until next time............ Stay hydrated.....
Friday, July 10, 2015
On Track
After gaining those 3 lbs over the weekend I am proud to say I am back on track and am at my lowest weight since right after my father passed away in November 2014. I just got back to business and worked on what I slacked on over the weekend. I promised myself I will not do it again this weekend. I believe I can do it because we have a very busy weekend ahead of us (as long as the weather cooperates). If you're from Ohio you understand that for the last month and a half we have basically had nothing but rain and not so warm weather and what sucks is Summer is almost over, it's the middle of July. UGH, I HATE crappy Summer's. Bring the heat on!
Another thing I did today is I am cancelling my membership with Fitness 19 and I joined Planet Fitness (not a huge fan of them). It looks like Barney puked all over the place because everything is purple and I don't agree with some of their rules, but they are open 24 hours Monday thru Friday and that works with my schedule the best because I can go after the kids are in bed and actually get my 1 hour & 45 mins to 2 hours workout in. I will be starting this on Monday evening. I might go on Sunday just so they can show me around and so I won't have to worry about doing it on Monday night and can get right into the workout. Fitness 19 was great and I have no complaints about them except their hours, but they do have day care (which Planet Fitness does not). I'm not to concerned with day care because I will be going when they are asleep and if I go on the weekends I'll just have to go whenever Chris is home. Yes, I did for a while go workout after dinner and just put the kids in the day care at the center, but I felt bad because I am away from them for 9-10 hours a day and so I would love to be able to spend the evening time with them doing stuff with them.
So today is finally sunny out and I think for the first time in a month or more we are going to get to play softball tonight (unless the fields are still to wet). I am looking forward to it and then I have a game on Sunday night. We have quiet a bit of a loaded weekend starting with tonight. I have softball and then on Saturday the trio have a make up T Ball game at 10am and then go pick up my new SUV GMC Acadia (hopefully)
Then the kids have 2 different birthday parties and we'd like to finish painting the decks and doors (inside doors) and some other stuff to get the house ready to sell. Depending on how things work out we are taking the kids to the drive in to see the new Minions' movie and the move after that is Inside Out. On Sunday my kids Old Brooklyn Little League is being honored at the Indians game at 1 pm and they were their T Ball shirts and get to parade around the outfield. Then I have a softball game at 6pm. Somewhere in between that I have to squeeze in baths and laundry, UGH. I should have given baths last night but we were at the dealership until 9 pm and by time we got home it was past bedtime and it was showing on the kiddo's.
Ok, I typed more then I was planning on doing so I'm going to end it here. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I will update after my first or second or third workout and how the new gym is.
Until next time....
Another thing I did today is I am cancelling my membership with Fitness 19 and I joined Planet Fitness (not a huge fan of them). It looks like Barney puked all over the place because everything is purple and I don't agree with some of their rules, but they are open 24 hours Monday thru Friday and that works with my schedule the best because I can go after the kids are in bed and actually get my 1 hour & 45 mins to 2 hours workout in. I will be starting this on Monday evening. I might go on Sunday just so they can show me around and so I won't have to worry about doing it on Monday night and can get right into the workout. Fitness 19 was great and I have no complaints about them except their hours, but they do have day care (which Planet Fitness does not). I'm not to concerned with day care because I will be going when they are asleep and if I go on the weekends I'll just have to go whenever Chris is home. Yes, I did for a while go workout after dinner and just put the kids in the day care at the center, but I felt bad because I am away from them for 9-10 hours a day and so I would love to be able to spend the evening time with them doing stuff with them.
So today is finally sunny out and I think for the first time in a month or more we are going to get to play softball tonight (unless the fields are still to wet). I am looking forward to it and then I have a game on Sunday night. We have quiet a bit of a loaded weekend starting with tonight. I have softball and then on Saturday the trio have a make up T Ball game at 10am and then go pick up my new SUV GMC Acadia (hopefully)
This is it, well different one but same color (silver)
Then the kids have 2 different birthday parties and we'd like to finish painting the decks and doors (inside doors) and some other stuff to get the house ready to sell. Depending on how things work out we are taking the kids to the drive in to see the new Minions' movie and the move after that is Inside Out. On Sunday my kids Old Brooklyn Little League is being honored at the Indians game at 1 pm and they were their T Ball shirts and get to parade around the outfield. Then I have a softball game at 6pm. Somewhere in between that I have to squeeze in baths and laundry, UGH. I should have given baths last night but we were at the dealership until 9 pm and by time we got home it was past bedtime and it was showing on the kiddo's.
Love these guys
Ok, I typed more then I was planning on doing so I'm going to end it here. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I will update after my first or second or third workout and how the new gym is.
Until next time....
Jennie
Monday, July 6, 2015
July 4th = bad habits
I can say I am sort of happy that July 4th has come and gone and not because I didn't enjoy it, because I sure did. It is because I fell off of the weight loss wagon. I went to my weigh in today and truly wasn't expecting good results and I was right. Because I chose to drink beer and White Wine Peach Sangria, OMG I'm going to talk about this drink for a second. I actually got a recipe in my Weight watchers book on Thursday and it looked so refreshing that I had to try it. It was similar to the recipe above but I used White Wine, Peach tea, peach schnapps, fresh peach, Granny Smith apple, fresh lemon and when it was ready to serve I topped it off with diet 7UP.
It was really good, but I have to figure out what was making it really sweet, because the sweetness factor was really high. My eating habits for the weekend could have used some work too. I made some red, white and blue strawberries. I took a strawberry and dipped it in white chocolate (next time I'm going to use yogurt for a healthier version) and sprinkled it with blue sprinkles. They were a hit and all gone.
I am upset with no one but myself. I worked hard to lose the 10 lbs in two weeks only to blow it this past weekend. I gained 3 lbs at my weigh in today all because I made horrible choices and the sad thing is I even brought spinach and lettuce with me and banana's and such. I let temptation fail me and gave in to the cheese, my mother's dip and a half of a hot dog. Then on Sunday I had a breakfast sandwich 6" from Subway on our two hour drive home. and I'm pretty sure I had some other stuff in between that and dinner which was three cheddar bratwurst. So I'm sure you can see why I gained 3 lbs this weekend and I'm thinking one or two of those are water too.
Rest assured I am back on track today. I bought a new bike yesterday because my trio are now at the age where they ride fast and just walking behind them isn't working anymore, so now I can ride along with them. I wanted to ride tonight but they have a T-Ball game at 6:30 and so I am going to "TRY" to get my lazy butt on the treadmill tonight after they go to sleep. My running/walking should be much easier because today I am 20 days smoke free. I haven't tried running since I quit, but deep down inside I have actually been looking forward to doing it since I have. I just severely lack the motivation. I set my alarm for 4 am this morning and other mornings thinking I'd get up and run, but my sleep and wanting to stay in bed and sleep for another hour and a half has out ruled that. I know that once I get into the hang of it, it will then become habit and I'll look forward to it (because I've been there done that) and will have that guilt feeling on the days I end up missing. I truly am looking forward to those days. Another thing I'm worried about is my right knee has been tightening up and sore the past couple days and I just got them back to normal almost a year now. I have to try and look past that and work through it and not let it interrupt my need to get well and in shape. I wan to also start doing my ab video workout because as I'm losing this weight the skin will not tighten if I don't help it, it is only getting lose and will soon be hanging (only bad thing about having twins plus one).
Well I blabbed long enough. I really hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend and stayed safe. We spent the weekend out at my Aunt & Uncles 59 acre land and it was GREAT. Never have I been somewhere that was so peaceful and just a great experience to wake up to in the morning. I personally don't think I could live that isolated, but I can do 2-5 acres and be happy. I'm a City girl and will always be a City girl and have the luxury of having a store 10 mins away. I can find that amount of acre's and still be close to City. I still love that feeling I had this weekend though. They are truly lucky.
Until next time.. Be safe and well!!
Here was mine
I am upset with no one but myself. I worked hard to lose the 10 lbs in two weeks only to blow it this past weekend. I gained 3 lbs at my weigh in today all because I made horrible choices and the sad thing is I even brought spinach and lettuce with me and banana's and such. I let temptation fail me and gave in to the cheese, my mother's dip and a half of a hot dog. Then on Sunday I had a breakfast sandwich 6" from Subway on our two hour drive home. and I'm pretty sure I had some other stuff in between that and dinner which was three cheddar bratwurst. So I'm sure you can see why I gained 3 lbs this weekend and I'm thinking one or two of those are water too.
Rest assured I am back on track today. I bought a new bike yesterday because my trio are now at the age where they ride fast and just walking behind them isn't working anymore, so now I can ride along with them. I wanted to ride tonight but they have a T-Ball game at 6:30 and so I am going to "TRY" to get my lazy butt on the treadmill tonight after they go to sleep. My running/walking should be much easier because today I am 20 days smoke free. I haven't tried running since I quit, but deep down inside I have actually been looking forward to doing it since I have. I just severely lack the motivation. I set my alarm for 4 am this morning and other mornings thinking I'd get up and run, but my sleep and wanting to stay in bed and sleep for another hour and a half has out ruled that. I know that once I get into the hang of it, it will then become habit and I'll look forward to it (because I've been there done that) and will have that guilt feeling on the days I end up missing. I truly am looking forward to those days. Another thing I'm worried about is my right knee has been tightening up and sore the past couple days and I just got them back to normal almost a year now. I have to try and look past that and work through it and not let it interrupt my need to get well and in shape. I wan to also start doing my ab video workout because as I'm losing this weight the skin will not tighten if I don't help it, it is only getting lose and will soon be hanging (only bad thing about having twins plus one).
Well I blabbed long enough. I really hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend and stayed safe. We spent the weekend out at my Aunt & Uncles 59 acre land and it was GREAT. Never have I been somewhere that was so peaceful and just a great experience to wake up to in the morning. I personally don't think I could live that isolated, but I can do 2-5 acres and be happy. I'm a City girl and will always be a City girl and have the luxury of having a store 10 mins away. I can find that amount of acre's and still be close to City. I still love that feeling I had this weekend though. They are truly lucky.
Until next time.. Be safe and well!!
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Accomplishments
I am feeling very accomplished in a part of my life today and am very proud to say that I HAVE BEEN A NON-SMOKER FOR 2 WEEKS!!! Yes, I have not picked up or craved a smoke and I have even been out hanging around with everyone else around me smoking and drinking some beers and I didn't want not one. That makes me feel so good. I still have a little bit of a lingering cough, but it is much better than it was on the day I had my last cigarette. I do not spend the night coughing and keeping myself and DH up anymore, I actually spend it sleeping which is awesome. I cannot wait till I finally get the motivation to get back on the treadmill again. No I did not go cold turkey (I tried several times but failed) I went to my primary doctor and had him prescribe me Chantix and have been on it for a month now. No, I didn't have any bad side effects and no bad dreams, in fact my dreams have been fascinating they are so vivid and so real, I look forward to them every night and kinda sad they will be gone when I finish the medicine. I can be finished with it today or I still have two more weeks worth of it to take if I feel the need, which I just might because they say the longer you take the medicine the more likely you are to remain quit. My kids said they are happy that I have stopped and that makes me feel much better and I helps to make me remain quit.
My other accomplishment is that as of today I am down 10.8 lbs since Friday, June 26th (check my weight page). I can truly feel a difference that just 10 lbs make and I have more energy then usual which can also be because I stopped smoking too. I am still doing my daily weigh ins at Physicians Weight Loss Clinic, (only 2 days left of the daily weigh in) and I have been moved from a 800 calorie a day diet to, 900 and I am currently at 1000 calorie a day diet for the next couple days then I think I go up to 1200. Although I have moved up, I'm basically eating the same thing as at first and I am pretty much satisfied after every meal. I will try to start adding more to the meals as suggested, but haven't had a chance to look over it. On days 10-14 (which I'm on now) I get to start adding a little bit of fat to my diet. Example is I can cook my chicken or such in olive oil (very little) and other oils or start adding a tiny bit of fat free dressing to my salads, but I think I'm going to stick to the hot sauce for dressing because it works for me. The one oil they told I cannot use is coconut oil (oops that's what I've been using to cook my chicken in). I am still getting my B-12 shots weekly, just received my 3rd one yesterday and I also signed up for another 16 weeks, which wasn't to expensive ($199) which includes everything (shots & multi-vitamins). I have to say that I am impressed so far with my progress. I also really like the fact that I am guaranteed to lose a certain amount by the time my weeks are up or I get my money back (as long as I faithfully stick to the plan).
So non weight loss related. We had something horrible happen this past Saturday and personally I'm sorry but I do not want to go into it right this moment. It's kind of embarrassing and very, very false. Don't worry no one was hurt or anything (except feelings). DH and I were so sickened at the thought and have been very stressed and mad and whatever other emotions are out there. I haven't told anyone because it's a sensitive subject and upsets me anytime I even think that someone has the audacity to even say these things & make false acquisitions. I mean this is serious, not just a word of mouth thing, it happened. I am waiting and will hopefully post soon on what happened, but lets just say that DH and I are listing our house for-sale earlier then we planned. No, this has nothing (I hope) to do with the awesome neighbors we have grown to be great friends with.
Listing the house, we have so much prep work that needs to be done and quickly, so last night I talked to the trio during dinner and they were so excited and wanted to help me scrub all the walls on the first floor. So, they got their sand bucks and I got mine and with warm water and a Magic Eraser we cleaned all the walls before bed time and even had time for an ice cream cone. DH and I painted the walls about 2 years ago, but with three little kids and two big dogs they got dirty. They look good now and at least I can tell what places need touch up paint and is not just dirt. We were going to work on scrubbing all the WHITE doors tonight, but I ran out of the Magic Erasers so we were going to de-clutter the kitchen cabinets and get rid of what we don't use or start packing stuff and the kids were going to wipe down the bottom cabinets and the appliances, but I am going to surprise them with something fun instead (as long as the rain holds). After dinner I was going to let them ride their bikes and I'd walk to either Honey Hut (closer) or Dairy Queen (further), but all it's been doing is raining for the last 4 weeks or more and NO LIE, I'm serious (check the weather for Cleveland, OH). This weekend (thankfully) is suppose to get better which I hope so because we are planning on going to my Aunt & Uncles for the weekend and camping on their land (they have lots and lots of land). They are having a family picnic on Saturday anyways and we'll have fireworks and they also have a pool and we'll be ATVing. So I hope the weather holds well FINALLY.
Well I gotta go and probably will not post again till after the Holiday. So everyone be safe and have an excellent 4th of July!!!!
Until next time.........................
My other accomplishment is that as of today I am down 10.8 lbs since Friday, June 26th (check my weight page). I can truly feel a difference that just 10 lbs make and I have more energy then usual which can also be because I stopped smoking too. I am still doing my daily weigh ins at Physicians Weight Loss Clinic, (only 2 days left of the daily weigh in) and I have been moved from a 800 calorie a day diet to, 900 and I am currently at 1000 calorie a day diet for the next couple days then I think I go up to 1200. Although I have moved up, I'm basically eating the same thing as at first and I am pretty much satisfied after every meal. I will try to start adding more to the meals as suggested, but haven't had a chance to look over it. On days 10-14 (which I'm on now) I get to start adding a little bit of fat to my diet. Example is I can cook my chicken or such in olive oil (very little) and other oils or start adding a tiny bit of fat free dressing to my salads, but I think I'm going to stick to the hot sauce for dressing because it works for me. The one oil they told I cannot use is coconut oil (oops that's what I've been using to cook my chicken in). I am still getting my B-12 shots weekly, just received my 3rd one yesterday and I also signed up for another 16 weeks, which wasn't to expensive ($199) which includes everything (shots & multi-vitamins). I have to say that I am impressed so far with my progress. I also really like the fact that I am guaranteed to lose a certain amount by the time my weeks are up or I get my money back (as long as I faithfully stick to the plan).
So non weight loss related. We had something horrible happen this past Saturday and personally I'm sorry but I do not want to go into it right this moment. It's kind of embarrassing and very, very false. Don't worry no one was hurt or anything (except feelings). DH and I were so sickened at the thought and have been very stressed and mad and whatever other emotions are out there. I haven't told anyone because it's a sensitive subject and upsets me anytime I even think that someone has the audacity to even say these things & make false acquisitions. I mean this is serious, not just a word of mouth thing, it happened. I am waiting and will hopefully post soon on what happened, but lets just say that DH and I are listing our house for-sale earlier then we planned. No, this has nothing (I hope) to do with the awesome neighbors we have grown to be great friends with.
Listing the house, we have so much prep work that needs to be done and quickly, so last night I talked to the trio during dinner and they were so excited and wanted to help me scrub all the walls on the first floor. So, they got their sand bucks and I got mine and with warm water and a Magic Eraser we cleaned all the walls before bed time and even had time for an ice cream cone. DH and I painted the walls about 2 years ago, but with three little kids and two big dogs they got dirty. They look good now and at least I can tell what places need touch up paint and is not just dirt. We were going to work on scrubbing all the WHITE doors tonight, but I ran out of the Magic Erasers so we were going to de-clutter the kitchen cabinets and get rid of what we don't use or start packing stuff and the kids were going to wipe down the bottom cabinets and the appliances, but I am going to surprise them with something fun instead (as long as the rain holds). After dinner I was going to let them ride their bikes and I'd walk to either Honey Hut (closer) or Dairy Queen (further), but all it's been doing is raining for the last 4 weeks or more and NO LIE, I'm serious (check the weather for Cleveland, OH). This weekend (thankfully) is suppose to get better which I hope so because we are planning on going to my Aunt & Uncles for the weekend and camping on their land (they have lots and lots of land). They are having a family picnic on Saturday anyways and we'll have fireworks and they also have a pool and we'll be ATVing. So I hope the weather holds well FINALLY.
Well I gotta go and probably will not post again till after the Holiday. So everyone be safe and have an excellent 4th of July!!!!
Until next time.........................
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Day 8 and Day 5
So today is the 8th day that I have not picked up a cigarette and I have to honestly say that I am feeling pretty good. Of course as I've mentioned before I have the help of Chantix. I have had no cravings it's just the habits that I need to get over. For example: when I driving to work or home and when I go out with friends and have some drinks. Just little stuff like that, that I have to work on filling the void with something more positive. Other than that I like that my "smokers" cough is almost non-existent and I am sleeping much better at night with not waking up hacking a lung up.
This is my 5th day of my diet thru Physicians Weight Loss Center and I'm feeling great. I have started day 5-9 of the diet which is adding more Protein at dinner and more veggies at lunch, but my breakfast is still the same. I went to weigh in today and I'm at a total of 5.6 lbs lost since this past Friday. Since I'm still on Weight Watchers (until my membership is up, which is soon) I cannot wait to see what the scale read tomorrow. I quit W.W. because it just wasn't working for me this go round like it did the first two times I was on it. I do not track my food like I should and I just haven't stuck to it well, so this is why I moved on to see if I can get myself going. I also got my 2nd B-12 shot today and feeling a tad bit more energized from it and the hunger pains are not so bad.
My goal by next Monday is to get up early in the morning before the kids wake up and before I go to work and get my butt on the treadmill again and then in the evenings I plan on doing an ab video workout again. I need to tone while I'm losing so this skin doesn't turn into hanging skin, which I'm sure some of it will, but I would like to try and stop that if possible.
Well gotta run this was a fast post, must go pick up the kiddo's from Grandma's house before she goes crazy and then we have to get home and make dinner and then off to T-Ball practice and then home and baths and then BEDTIME!
I will try to update you next time with what a sample of my meals are on this diet.
Until next time... stay healthy my friends.
This is my 5th day of my diet thru Physicians Weight Loss Center and I'm feeling great. I have started day 5-9 of the diet which is adding more Protein at dinner and more veggies at lunch, but my breakfast is still the same. I went to weigh in today and I'm at a total of 5.6 lbs lost since this past Friday. Since I'm still on Weight Watchers (until my membership is up, which is soon) I cannot wait to see what the scale read tomorrow. I quit W.W. because it just wasn't working for me this go round like it did the first two times I was on it. I do not track my food like I should and I just haven't stuck to it well, so this is why I moved on to see if I can get myself going. I also got my 2nd B-12 shot today and feeling a tad bit more energized from it and the hunger pains are not so bad.
My goal by next Monday is to get up early in the morning before the kids wake up and before I go to work and get my butt on the treadmill again and then in the evenings I plan on doing an ab video workout again. I need to tone while I'm losing so this skin doesn't turn into hanging skin, which I'm sure some of it will, but I would like to try and stop that if possible.
Well gotta run this was a fast post, must go pick up the kiddo's from Grandma's house before she goes crazy and then we have to get home and make dinner and then off to T-Ball practice and then home and baths and then BEDTIME!
I will try to update you next time with what a sample of my meals are on this diet.
Until next time... stay healthy my friends.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
MIA - Life is busy
OK, so life has me running around these past few months. It's rough but exciting having two 5 year old and a 3.5 year old, they definitely keep me on my toes. Addisyn had her 1st dance recital on May 31 and it was great, she did wonderful. But I'm glad that is over until Fall.
Now, I'm just running crazy with my softball and the trio's T-Ball. This should all be done by the end of July.
They are playing well this year compared to the twins team last year. DH is coaching and he isn't a very great coach when it comes to showing up for things. But, he only did it so Jake can play on the same team because he isn't 4 yet.
So other than that I have made to changes in my life. I have quit smoking (with the assistance of Chantix) on June 16th so today will make a one week with not smoking and I'm doing great. Not that much craving more of habits that I have to forget, which I can deal with. This past Friday, June 19th I joined Physicians Weight loss Clinics because Weight Watchers isn't working for me this go round. I found a coupon on Groupon for $159.00 for 8 weeks of assistance and B-12 shots. I got my first shot on Friday and I can tell a difference in my energy level and my hunger level. They have put me on a 800 calorie diet and I started that on Saturday, and I did great up until I went to a birthday party for my kids around 3pm. I ate pizza and cake because they looked so good. But, since then I have stuck to the diet and am doing great. I am down 5.6 lbs since Friday. I know allot is probably water loss, but it's further then I've been because I have been gaining again lately. I did think that being on the diet was going to be hard, which I will not lie it is because I see so many other things I want to eat instead, but as far as hunger it's manageable and not crazy. Tomorrow I get my next B-12 shot and I start the diet for days 5-9 and it is adding more protein to my meals. We'll see how this goes because when the 8 weeks are up if it ends up being crazy expensive then I won't be spending that much money on it, but at least I have the diet plans so I can do them on my own. I really hope it's not too expensive.
In other news, as for my husband and his weight loss (gastric bypass) surgery, I would never ever advise for anyone to get it, unless you can follow the plan to the "T". I caught my DH making himself puke the other night and that night he puked about 6 times before going to bed. You know it's bad when my kids refer to him as "The Puker". Last night after baths I was brushing Addisyn's hair and she said "I don't like when daddy pukes all the time." He needs to stop and besides the fantastic weight loss I bet he is not happy about his decision to get it. It has totally changed his mood and that. He is not fun to be around anymore for the kids nor me. He will fly off the handle if you say something the wrong way to him now and yell and get pissed for no reason. He doesn't communicate (not like he did much before either) anymore and family dinners, we'll he has sat down once since his surgery to eat with us (and that was this past Sunday on Father's day). He doesn't cook anymore and then expects me to rush and do everything with the kids and cook dinner after arriving home (this is mostly when they have games or practice), it's not easy on me nor the kids, because then I'm getting stressed out and it's overflowing onto the kids and then I feel stressed and upset. It's been a never ending battle and not getting easier. I wish he would just once think about me or the kids or the kids & I and forget about himself for once. He is the type that he comes before anything/anyone else and yes even after getting married and having kids that has not changed. He is a selfish man and probably always will be. Now , if tables are turned you better bet that you're getting yelled at or he's making you feel guilty. I can never win anymore and going out, bahahahaha, he makes me feel guilty when I go to play softball on Friday & Sunday nights. When he plays starts twice a week during the Winter (which is longer season then my softball is) and I don't give him a hard time. Oh well, just gotta suck it up and live with it.
OK, I've typed allot and I better get going. I will let you know how this PWLC is working.
This is her before Rehearsal
Daddy & Addisyn after her recital.
Now, I'm just running crazy with my softball and the trio's T-Ball. This should all be done by the end of July.
My Three
The team Masons
They are playing well this year compared to the twins team last year. DH is coaching and he isn't a very great coach when it comes to showing up for things. But, he only did it so Jake can play on the same team because he isn't 4 yet.
So other than that I have made to changes in my life. I have quit smoking (with the assistance of Chantix) on June 16th so today will make a one week with not smoking and I'm doing great. Not that much craving more of habits that I have to forget, which I can deal with. This past Friday, June 19th I joined Physicians Weight loss Clinics because Weight Watchers isn't working for me this go round. I found a coupon on Groupon for $159.00 for 8 weeks of assistance and B-12 shots. I got my first shot on Friday and I can tell a difference in my energy level and my hunger level. They have put me on a 800 calorie diet and I started that on Saturday, and I did great up until I went to a birthday party for my kids around 3pm. I ate pizza and cake because they looked so good. But, since then I have stuck to the diet and am doing great. I am down 5.6 lbs since Friday. I know allot is probably water loss, but it's further then I've been because I have been gaining again lately. I did think that being on the diet was going to be hard, which I will not lie it is because I see so many other things I want to eat instead, but as far as hunger it's manageable and not crazy. Tomorrow I get my next B-12 shot and I start the diet for days 5-9 and it is adding more protein to my meals. We'll see how this goes because when the 8 weeks are up if it ends up being crazy expensive then I won't be spending that much money on it, but at least I have the diet plans so I can do them on my own. I really hope it's not too expensive.
In other news, as for my husband and his weight loss (gastric bypass) surgery, I would never ever advise for anyone to get it, unless you can follow the plan to the "T". I caught my DH making himself puke the other night and that night he puked about 6 times before going to bed. You know it's bad when my kids refer to him as "The Puker". Last night after baths I was brushing Addisyn's hair and she said "I don't like when daddy pukes all the time." He needs to stop and besides the fantastic weight loss I bet he is not happy about his decision to get it. It has totally changed his mood and that. He is not fun to be around anymore for the kids nor me. He will fly off the handle if you say something the wrong way to him now and yell and get pissed for no reason. He doesn't communicate (not like he did much before either) anymore and family dinners, we'll he has sat down once since his surgery to eat with us (and that was this past Sunday on Father's day). He doesn't cook anymore and then expects me to rush and do everything with the kids and cook dinner after arriving home (this is mostly when they have games or practice), it's not easy on me nor the kids, because then I'm getting stressed out and it's overflowing onto the kids and then I feel stressed and upset. It's been a never ending battle and not getting easier. I wish he would just once think about me or the kids or the kids & I and forget about himself for once. He is the type that he comes before anything/anyone else and yes even after getting married and having kids that has not changed. He is a selfish man and probably always will be. Now , if tables are turned you better bet that you're getting yelled at or he's making you feel guilty. I can never win anymore and going out, bahahahaha, he makes me feel guilty when I go to play softball on Friday & Sunday nights. When he plays starts twice a week during the Winter (which is longer season then my softball is) and I don't give him a hard time. Oh well, just gotta suck it up and live with it.
OK, I've typed allot and I better get going. I will let you know how this PWLC is working.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
New way about it
HI all! Nothing much has truly changed for me. I have gained a few pounds and no I am not happy with it. I was thinking about trying something new and by that I mean I want to start taking weekly pictures of me so I can see how I look myself and that should give me the motivation to get my butt moving. I look in the mirror (side view) and all I see is a huge round mid section. I'm not happy with it. Anyways I know that the last time I lost a bunch of weight it was just looking at this one picture of myself that made me change my views and way of living and started working out 5 times a week and running. My only problem is that as I was looking on Facebook for more recent pictures I noticed that I truly do not take many pictures of myself, because I am to embarrassed of them. So below is what I've got so far. I am making a promise to myself that I will try hard to take a picture of myself once a week (probably Monday's) so that you can watch my progress and I can see how truly disgusting I look.
Ok so right now that is all I've got. We will see if this helps me get some motivation, because honestly after looking at the two full body pictures of myself (above) it gets me somewhat motivated.
That's all folks. Until next time stay safe & and fun!
This was my 40th Birthday 2015 I'm the chubby one.
And again my Birthday party I'm the fat one.
Ok so right now that is all I've got. We will see if this helps me get some motivation, because honestly after looking at the two full body pictures of myself (above) it gets me somewhat motivated.
That's all folks. Until next time stay safe & and fun!
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Crazy Days Ahead
So did great with my treadmill workouts until last week and BAMN, I stopped and now I wanna beat myself up over it, ugh. What is wrong with me why can't I just keep going with this and why can't I stick to my diet? My life at the moment is crazy bust with my two co-ed softball teams started and the kids T-Ball and Addisyn's dance recital coming up it has been a whirlwind. Because of this my diet has suffered and my workout. I grab whatever is quick and easy for everyone. Sometimes I'm not even hungry but then I eat so I don't get hungry later on. Sometimes I eat tiny bits of bad processed foods. Yes, I know and fully aware of what I'm putting in my mouth and how unhealthy or whatever it is, but at that moment I don't care, but I do care, if that makes sense. So now I'm paying for it because softball season has begun and I'm no where near where I wanted to be and Summer is a month away and it is already short season and I again am no where near that. I am actually dreading Summer season and shorts/tank tops and bathing suits. This is the 6th Summer (minus 2 I was pregnant) and I am not where my goal was. I have noone to blame again but myself and my lazy self. I am depressed that Summer is almost here.
So because of how busy I am with everything I totally feel stressed right now and with things going on in my life I am depressed and personally just want to hide in my house. There are to many times that I feel alone and I feel there is noone to talk to. Even in my own home I have noone that wants to listen or cares what I have to say. There is and never was decent conversations that took place at home with the one I love. I have tried to justify the reasoning and that he is just like his father, but he talks to strangers and such and can hold an interesting conversation with others. Sometimes I ask myself why did I not think about this years ago, why did I push it to the side. Our conversations are one sided and it's me talking and a one word answer. So basically it sucks that I have noone to have a heart to heart with besides my blog. OH well what can you do, just continue keeping it inside and taking it out on everyone else, right??? UGH. I am just frustrated so much over allot of stuff going on or not going on and more poor kids pay the price with a bitchy mom and that kills me even more.
So my boss is out of town for the week so this is my first time alone doing all the payroll stuff and I have to say at times it has gotten overwhelming, but I have to prove I can do this. I'm glad the week is almost over, but not looking forward to a busy weekend.. again. I have just been running nonstop for the last 3 weeks. I literally have no down time and I think it's catching up to me. I am coming down with yet another cold & I am worn out.
On another note today is weigh in day with W.W. and I haven't stepped on a scale in 2 weeks at the last weigh in I was at. I missed last week because I took off of work and I didn't care because I am afraid to see the damage done. I personally don't even care if I see it today either. Not happy with myself.
Well until next time... enjoy.
So because of how busy I am with everything I totally feel stressed right now and with things going on in my life I am depressed and personally just want to hide in my house. There are to many times that I feel alone and I feel there is noone to talk to. Even in my own home I have noone that wants to listen or cares what I have to say. There is and never was decent conversations that took place at home with the one I love. I have tried to justify the reasoning and that he is just like his father, but he talks to strangers and such and can hold an interesting conversation with others. Sometimes I ask myself why did I not think about this years ago, why did I push it to the side. Our conversations are one sided and it's me talking and a one word answer. So basically it sucks that I have noone to have a heart to heart with besides my blog. OH well what can you do, just continue keeping it inside and taking it out on everyone else, right??? UGH. I am just frustrated so much over allot of stuff going on or not going on and more poor kids pay the price with a bitchy mom and that kills me even more.
So my boss is out of town for the week so this is my first time alone doing all the payroll stuff and I have to say at times it has gotten overwhelming, but I have to prove I can do this. I'm glad the week is almost over, but not looking forward to a busy weekend.. again. I have just been running nonstop for the last 3 weeks. I literally have no down time and I think it's catching up to me. I am coming down with yet another cold & I am worn out.
On another note today is weigh in day with W.W. and I haven't stepped on a scale in 2 weeks at the last weigh in I was at. I missed last week because I took off of work and I didn't care because I am afraid to see the damage done. I personally don't even care if I see it today either. Not happy with myself.
Well until next time... enjoy.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Weekends get Crazier with Warmer Weather
Well the scale yet again HATES me! I have not lost anything and I stuck with my treadmill work outs all last week, I do think allot of it has to do with PMS, because I always put on a couple pounds right before my monthly & I'm praying it comes today or tomorrow so when I weigh in at W.W. on Thursday I will be lighter. Trust me it is very true, I have always put on poundage before my Aunt Flo, OK, enough about that.
I had a very crazy busy weekend schedule and even though it is nice, since it is the only full days that I get with my kids I truly want them to go as slow as possible (Other then no work too). Our next couple weekends are filled with stuff too. This past Saturday besides the usual dance class for Addisyn, all five of us had dentist appointments to get our pearly whites cleaned and then I took all three kiddo's to Target with me and then we went to Cleats to have dinner with my brother & his two kids and my mom & then Sam & her Co-worker. My sister lives in Colorado but she is in Pittsburgh (nice City) till end of this week so since it is only an 1.5 hour drive they came to see us, it was nice. Got home and put the kids to bed and I cracked open a Bud Light (We have a love/hate relationship) and relaxed. The night before we had a fire with my neighbors Ron & Chrissy. Sunday I did laundry and some cleaning all morning until about 12:15 when I left to go have lunch with my friend Amy which we have been friends since Pre-schoool. It was really nice chatting with her for hours. Then came home switched up the laundry and sat for about 5 mins and that is when I realize I should have never done that, because it hit me and I was exhausted. I then left for my softball game at 5 pm and we won 17-14, wahoo. I got home and bathed the kids and put them to bed and finished up laundry. I was so completely out if by the time I went to bed.
Oh, and about said softball game I have realized how much I cannot run. Now, even when I was skinny and in very athletic shape I was never a very fast runner, I am more of a distance and endurance runner. Give me miles to go and I can do it at my own pace, I will finish and finish strong. But running bases is sprinting and I AM NOT or never was a sprinter, so fast forward to this year and being severally obese and try sprinting... Not happening. I feel like I'm moving, but I know in reality and what everyone else sees is what probably looks like I'm walking. I notice when I tosprint down the baseline my ankles always go other ways then they should. Twice I was on first base and the guy behind me (that fastest one & probably youngest on the team) would hit it over the outfielders heads and what should have been home runs for him, turned into only doubles thanks to my overweight, obese ass! It is embarrassing in a way and I have no one to blame but myself, but it kinda puts this extra worry/weight on the mind and makes me wish when I come to bat that I pop out or get out every time. I know that is very negative for me to think and I would like to change my thinking and go to positive, but it's hard when you truly know the truth. Well it'll be the same thoughts on Friday & Sunday again this week as I take the field. I normally really didn't worry about what others think, OK maybe I did worry and it would upset me inside, but I won't show it. I am just so scared people are thinking "OMG, look at the fat ass, whale." Honestly that makes me tear up thinking about that because when I was pregnant with Jake towards the end of my pregnancy a car of young kids yelled something to me about a whale and that is very hurtful and I about gave up right there.
So in regards to my thinking above I came home from work yesterday and I talked myself out of and into working out several times and there was more times that I favored not doing it. After rethinking how I felt at my game and the pizza I had for dinner last night, after I put the kids to bed I went down stairs and got on the treadmill. It was a very rough run all the muscles in my legs hurt and were tightening up plus my shins were hurting and my feet felt like they had cement weights on them. I was doing the 60 min treadmill work out and I told myself just stop at 30 minutes and be happy you got that in, but when it came to 30 minutes I said ok, just go to 45 now and then when I reached 45 I told myself you only have 10 more minutes of running and the rest is just walking, so you've got this and next thing I know I completed my 60 minutes workout. My body hurt, my back was very sore, but I did it and shortly after that was in bed, and it was a rough night of tossing & turning but maybe because I was still hurting a little. I'm feeling better today, my legs a a little stiff and sore, but I AM going to get on the treadmill tonight and I will do it before the kids go to bed so I can watch NCIS at 8 pm tonight. This is of course after I run to the store to get stuff for DH because he's been home sick & was out Saturday night till 4:30am & so was useless Sunday, WHATEVER!
OK, that is all for now. I have to run. I will get with you later!!!!! Until next time...........
I had a very crazy busy weekend schedule and even though it is nice, since it is the only full days that I get with my kids I truly want them to go as slow as possible (Other then no work too). Our next couple weekends are filled with stuff too. This past Saturday besides the usual dance class for Addisyn, all five of us had dentist appointments to get our pearly whites cleaned and then I took all three kiddo's to Target with me and then we went to Cleats to have dinner with my brother & his two kids and my mom & then Sam & her Co-worker. My sister lives in Colorado but she is in Pittsburgh (nice City) till end of this week so since it is only an 1.5 hour drive they came to see us, it was nice. Got home and put the kids to bed and I cracked open a Bud Light (We have a love/hate relationship) and relaxed. The night before we had a fire with my neighbors Ron & Chrissy. Sunday I did laundry and some cleaning all morning until about 12:15 when I left to go have lunch with my friend Amy which we have been friends since Pre-schoool. It was really nice chatting with her for hours. Then came home switched up the laundry and sat for about 5 mins and that is when I realize I should have never done that, because it hit me and I was exhausted. I then left for my softball game at 5 pm and we won 17-14, wahoo. I got home and bathed the kids and put them to bed and finished up laundry. I was so completely out if by the time I went to bed.
Oh, and about said softball game I have realized how much I cannot run. Now, even when I was skinny and in very athletic shape I was never a very fast runner, I am more of a distance and endurance runner. Give me miles to go and I can do it at my own pace, I will finish and finish strong. But running bases is sprinting and I AM NOT or never was a sprinter, so fast forward to this year and being severally obese and try sprinting... Not happening. I feel like I'm moving, but I know in reality and what everyone else sees is what probably looks like I'm walking. I notice when I to
So in regards to my thinking above I came home from work yesterday and I talked myself out of and into working out several times and there was more times that I favored not doing it. After rethinking how I felt at my game and the pizza I had for dinner last night, after I put the kids to bed I went down stairs and got on the treadmill. It was a very rough run all the muscles in my legs hurt and were tightening up plus my shins were hurting and my feet felt like they had cement weights on them. I was doing the 60 min treadmill work out and I told myself just stop at 30 minutes and be happy you got that in, but when it came to 30 minutes I said ok, just go to 45 now and then when I reached 45 I told myself you only have 10 more minutes of running and the rest is just walking, so you've got this and next thing I know I completed my 60 minutes workout. My body hurt, my back was very sore, but I did it and shortly after that was in bed, and it was a rough night of tossing & turning but maybe because I was still hurting a little. I'm feeling better today, my legs a a little stiff and sore, but I AM going to get on the treadmill tonight and I will do it before the kids go to bed so I can watch NCIS at 8 pm tonight. This is of course after I run to the store to get stuff for DH because he's been home sick & was out Saturday night till 4:30am & so was useless Sunday, WHATEVER!
OK, that is all for now. I have to run. I will get with you later!!!!! Until next time...........
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Not much just pictures/sayings
I'm not going to update, but I just wanted to post some weight loss things I thought were good or funny. I will tell you I went to weigh in at W.W. and I'm down a whopping .4, yep fricken .4, WTH! I also did another 45 mins on the treadmill last night and tonight I will be doing an hour. That's about all folks, but enjoy these....
.jpg)
.jpg)
This next one is for Chris....
Gotta chisel that fat away!
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Something New with the Treadmill
I want to say nothing much has changed with my feelings, I actually feel like I just want to go crazy at times because I'm not sure if I want to be mad, sad, frustrated, happy or pissed off. My feelings toward quitting softball are
Running Workout for Beginners still as strong as ever, especially when I see myself in the mirror. I have to say DH told me yesterday that it looks like I've lost weight and all I could do is laugh in his face. I know that was the proper thing to say or maybe he was looking to get something out of my about his 43 lb lose in 3 weeks. He said haven't you lost anything and I snapped back "HELL no, I've gained." Nice try on his part but it was all BS. He just called me and said he went to buy new pants and he was in a size 44 but had to buy a 40, I said "That's nice." He asked why can't I be supportive and I finally came out and told him I can't be supportive to someone that doesn't have to lift a finger to get to where I've been trying to for 5 years. I can't be happy when all he has to do is wake up in the morning and go to bed and he's down 40 lbs in weeks, when for the last 5 years of actually struggling and working out and watching what I eat I have gone all over the charts from losing 40 to gaining 30. I'm the one struggling and you are doing nothing, nothing at all but sitting there and losing. He said its still hard cuz he has to stop himself from wanting a cheese burger, which is understandable, but having the surgery and knowing you cannot eat is it totally different from my struggles.
On to another subject. This Monday I have went to trying something new with my treadmill at home. On Monday night I found this 45 minute ass kicker workout and OMG, I was feeling it, but it felt great. For some reason I cannot find this one online, but I will post the link when I find it.
Then last night I tried this one which was not as intense but was still hard because it had allot of running involved, but it was 60 minutes instead of 45. Again I felt great afterwards.
Running Workout for Beginners
I swore to myself I will do this at least 5 days or more a week. Tonight I'm probably going to do the 45 minute one I did Monday night. The thing I love about interval running on a treadmill is it makes the time go fast.
Here are a few more I've found that I want to try too.
The New Runner Treadmill workout
Treadmill Intervals
45 min Treadmill Hike
Until next time.
Running Workout for Beginners still as strong as ever, especially when I see myself in the mirror. I have to say DH told me yesterday that it looks like I've lost weight and all I could do is laugh in his face. I know that was the proper thing to say or maybe he was looking to get something out of my about his 43 lb lose in 3 weeks. He said haven't you lost anything and I snapped back "HELL no, I've gained." Nice try on his part but it was all BS. He just called me and said he went to buy new pants and he was in a size 44 but had to buy a 40, I said "That's nice." He asked why can't I be supportive and I finally came out and told him I can't be supportive to someone that doesn't have to lift a finger to get to where I've been trying to for 5 years. I can't be happy when all he has to do is wake up in the morning and go to bed and he's down 40 lbs in weeks, when for the last 5 years of actually struggling and working out and watching what I eat I have gone all over the charts from losing 40 to gaining 30. I'm the one struggling and you are doing nothing, nothing at all but sitting there and losing. He said its still hard cuz he has to stop himself from wanting a cheese burger, which is understandable, but having the surgery and knowing you cannot eat is it totally different from my struggles.
On to another subject. This Monday I have went to trying something new with my treadmill at home. On Monday night I found this 45 minute ass kicker workout and OMG, I was feeling it, but it felt great. For some reason I cannot find this one online, but I will post the link when I find it.
Then last night I tried this one which was not as intense but was still hard because it had allot of running involved, but it was 60 minutes instead of 45. Again I felt great afterwards.
Running Workout for Beginners
I swore to myself I will do this at least 5 days or more a week. Tonight I'm probably going to do the 45 minute one I did Monday night. The thing I love about interval running on a treadmill is it makes the time go fast.
Here are a few more I've found that I want to try too.
The New Runner Treadmill workout
Treadmill Intervals
45 min Treadmill Hike
Until next time.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Softball has Sprung, but I have Not!
Softball season has started and to be honest with you I am so not ready. I am still 100 lbs over weight and not shrinking. My goal was to be at least 50 lbs lighter before it started this season, but I'm not I'm actually 30 lbs heavier than when I ended the season last year. I feel like a disgusting slob playing, I cannot run nor my fielding of ground balls isn't as quick as it use to be and that also has something to do with pain, but I know if I was where I wanted to be then that would have helped allot. I am not disappointed in anyone but myself, I let it sneak up on me. I kept putting off the gym, because I just didn't feel like it or I am so extremely exhausted or just to much to do with the kids and/or home. Those are all excuses and hence the reason I am where I am today. I'm so sick of weight loss, and diets and all that bullshit. I'm sick of it, I'm just flat out sick of it. I am again wagging the flag, I surrender. I don't know what to do besides starve myself, maybe that is what I'll do, I'll do a diet of just liquids and veggies. I'm going to be that beached whale this Summer, my family will be off having fun but because I am a fat pig I will be sitting alone because I have no decent clothes to wear and a bathing suit, that's funny. I will be hiding for fear that everyone is talking about me "Look at the cow, OMG how could she wear that, Moo Moo." yep that is the world I live in. I just am out of ideas, I need some encouragement, some motivation or something. I wish all the time that something would come around that will snap me awake and change my living habits all around. I say this because the last time I lost a ton of weight that is what happened, I saw a picture of me in what looked like granny clothes. Well actually they were old people clothes (well old for my age at the time). I had on my mom's flowered skirt & a sweater with a shirt underneath, if you would have seen it you would understand, but I saw the picture and got so disgusted with myself that I turned everything around. Disgusting thing about that is in that picture I was 60 lbs lighter then I am now, so just imagine how gross I look now. I hate looking in the mirror and I don't like my complexion nor how clothing looks on me or how I look from the side view. I'm embarrassed to go anywhere or do anything and I'm afraid of what is being said behind my back.
Now about softball, I love it, I absolutely LOVE IT and would do anything to play it till the end. But...... in the back of my mind I'm thinking it's time to give it up. I'm 40 and my body always hurts somewhere and again I'm obese and just not a player that I use to be, that I'd like to be. My fat gets in the way of hitting and running (if that's what it's called) or more like waddling. Then I'm just so fat to get any ground balls. I hate running and watching all the flub run with me. I don't like the pain in my back, knees and arm. But.... I love the game. This is the reason I wanted to be 50 lbs lighter by the start of the season this year, so all the strain all this excess weight is putting on my body is gone and I'm sure most of the pain I feel is because of this. Again I have no-one to blame but myself. I am seriously considering quiting, but I will wait to make sure they have enough girl players so they don't get screwed, but they will be better off without a tub-o-lard holding them back. Maybe and I say maybe I will start back up next year if and only if I lose this weight. I will first have to make sure the teams are set with players first. I just can't, can't do this to my team nor myself. This is a hard decision but I believe I have to do, I don't deserve to play because I haven't reached my potential.
Now about the lazy, slacker that is losing weight fast as I still sit here year after year trying to figure everything out and why nothing is happening and what can I do to change it. I'm glad he is doing good and no complications from the surgery, but this doesn't mean that I'm still pissed off about the whole situation and how he is accomplishing in less than a month what I have been trying to do in 5 years and I haven't done it. Yes, I'm sick of tired of hearing about his loss and how good he looks... because he didn't have to DO NOT A DAMN THING, Nadda, nothing!!! Just had his stomach surgically shaped smaller and he's already lost 40 something in 3 weeks. Must be f*cking nice, but how about not rubbing it into my face for someone that is trying to do this the right way and have been trying to get healthy for 5 years now. He has never tired to lose weight and now he doesn't have to. He said himself he wanted the easy way out, he wanted the fast way out. Why didn't he have to struggle and feel what it is like for someone like me, why. Whatever, I give up!! Why doesn't he even try to help me and let me have time to go to the gym or workout while he watches the kids. Because everything to him is always about him, no one else. I am always placed last.
Again I'm giving up... I have no motivation or desire to go forward or even care about my weight. Whatever God decides is right for me is what I'm going to let happen, if I'm deemed to be severally obese for ever, than so be it. I'm not going to make myself get fatter (or at least try too) I will try to motivate myself if something comes around, but I'm done stressing about it 24/7. My weight problem is always on my mind and if it's not it is always a close second.
Okay, I've got a slight headache from getting so pissed typing this and shedding some tears. I'm sorry to go on and on, but this is my blog and I am keeping tabs for myself so I can look back and change things that need to or not.
Until next time.......................
Now about softball, I love it, I absolutely LOVE IT and would do anything to play it till the end. But...... in the back of my mind I'm thinking it's time to give it up. I'm 40 and my body always hurts somewhere and again I'm obese and just not a player that I use to be, that I'd like to be. My fat gets in the way of hitting and running (if that's what it's called) or more like waddling. Then I'm just so fat to get any ground balls. I hate running and watching all the flub run with me. I don't like the pain in my back, knees and arm. But.... I love the game. This is the reason I wanted to be 50 lbs lighter by the start of the season this year, so all the strain all this excess weight is putting on my body is gone and I'm sure most of the pain I feel is because of this. Again I have no-one to blame but myself. I am seriously considering quiting, but I will wait to make sure they have enough girl players so they don't get screwed, but they will be better off without a tub-o-lard holding them back. Maybe and I say maybe I will start back up next year if and only if I lose this weight. I will first have to make sure the teams are set with players first. I just can't, can't do this to my team nor myself. This is a hard decision but I believe I have to do, I don't deserve to play because I haven't reached my potential.
Now about the lazy, slacker that is losing weight fast as I still sit here year after year trying to figure everything out and why nothing is happening and what can I do to change it. I'm glad he is doing good and no complications from the surgery, but this doesn't mean that I'm still pissed off about the whole situation and how he is accomplishing in less than a month what I have been trying to do in 5 years and I haven't done it. Yes, I'm sick of tired of hearing about his loss and how good he looks... because he didn't have to DO NOT A DAMN THING, Nadda, nothing!!! Just had his stomach surgically shaped smaller and he's already lost 40 something in 3 weeks. Must be f*cking nice, but how about not rubbing it into my face for someone that is trying to do this the right way and have been trying to get healthy for 5 years now. He has never tired to lose weight and now he doesn't have to. He said himself he wanted the easy way out, he wanted the fast way out. Why didn't he have to struggle and feel what it is like for someone like me, why. Whatever, I give up!! Why doesn't he even try to help me and let me have time to go to the gym or workout while he watches the kids. Because everything to him is always about him, no one else. I am always placed last.
Again I'm giving up... I have no motivation or desire to go forward or even care about my weight. Whatever God decides is right for me is what I'm going to let happen, if I'm deemed to be severally obese for ever, than so be it. I'm not going to make myself get fatter (or at least try too) I will try to motivate myself if something comes around, but I'm done stressing about it 24/7. My weight problem is always on my mind and if it's not it is always a close second.
Okay, I've got a slight headache from getting so pissed typing this and shedding some tears. I'm sorry to go on and on, but this is my blog and I am keeping tabs for myself so I can look back and change things that need to or not.
Until next time.......................
Monday, April 6, 2015
Roller Coaster of Emotions!
Where do I need to start? I really, truly don't know what, where, when to start. I will say it is April and the weather if finally getting better so less days are spent being locked up inside, and the fresh air feels AWESOME! I have been trying to get the trio out more and more and as often as I can. I am so looking forward to Summer, but again, who isn't?
Yesterday was Easter and this week my trio is on Spring break. I have to say it was a nice day yesterday, I took the kids to my parents and they had a blast with their cousins and the weather was perfect.
So allot has happened since I last wrote, but not much worth writing about. Last Monday 3/30/15 I added my day care cost back into my gym membership and I am proud to say that I took the kids up there after work and did the same on Tuesday and it felt GREAT. Then of all things that seem to always happen as soon as I join a gym, I got sick. Tuesday I started getting that scratchy, sore throat feeling and couldn't stop sneezing, OMG the sneezing. I started popping Zicam right away, but it did work, I got sick. I have this horrible chest cold and with my asthma having issues breathing especially when I do something that requires heavier breathing (like the treadmill). So I took the rest of the week off and that upset me. On Thursday my new workout shoes (these are the exact ones I got) have arrived and I was so, so excited and cannot wait to break them in at the gym, but sadly haven't been able too. I'm still coughing but I am going to suck it up tonight and take the trio to the gym with me after work and what makes it better is since they are on Spring break this mom got to start work early so I get off work at 4 pm today. My current routine for now is 30 mins on the Elliptical and then 25 mins on the treadmill and then I alternate leg and arm days on the weights, probably about 45 mins on those. I have to admit I love, LOVE working out my legs, so leg days are Mon, Wed & Fri and then arms on Tues & Thurs (I despise working out my arms).
Now on to my total roller coaster ride. As in my previous posts my DH had his Gastric Bypass (Bariatric surgery) on Tuesday 3/31/15 and he was home on Thursday and he's doing well! I truly don't know why I am so pissed, jealous, annoyed, frustrated, depressed about the whole thing. I don't know what I am honestly feeling except for hatred or something. Here is an overview of what is going on in my head. I'm pissed because here I am struggling for 5 years with my weight and I have tried everything from pills, diets, and hard core working out 5 days a week and I have had No, nadda, nothing with success. I actually gained another 30 lbs in the last three months last year. I am pissed at how he hasn't even tried the gym in the 12 years I've known him he went with me for about 2 weeks before he quite. So basically he didn't have to struggle or let me say work hard to try to get healthy. Instead he walks into a clinic and all of sudden he had surgery. Whatever happened to having to spend 3 - 6 months on a diet plan to prove that you can change your eating habits before even being considered for surgery?!?!?! UGH, the anger I feel towards him (or the situation) is beyond words. How is it fair? How is any of this fair, why am I left actually working hard to go no where? Why do I constantly keep doing this to myself? I don't know, I don' t have any answer, I'm confused. Why won't the doctor prescribe me a "magic" pill to help get me moving again. Why, can't I have the energy I use to have? Why, Why? Why won't my DH let me go to the gym and not have make me have this GUILT because he's home alone with the kids, and he's texting me every 15 minutes asking when am I coming home because the kids aren't going to bed? I feel like I don't even care to hear about his results and I just don't care about how much he's lost or what medication you can stop taking. I DON'T CARE!! I'm so pissed because he is getting the easy way out and doesn't have to work at the struggles like we do. I just cry anytime I even look at him, I cry from frustration, anger. I don't know why I feel so resentful and hateful, I don't know why I feel so depressed over this. This first weekend was a game changer and in all honesty it SUCKED. It was so boring and I HATED every minute being home. He can't do anything, can't eat, can't drink for about 2 months (well no sh*t you're going to lose weight, I can do that without the surgery and lose the same amount of weight). We just sat at home and went out walking every 2-3 hours (what a damn BORE). I mean we can't go out to lunch or enjoy a beer or two all because he didn't want to "Work" at his weight loss.
I know, I do want to work at this goal because if I have to struggle or work hard at obtaining it then I will be more grateful for achieving it. There are so many other feelings going on since his surgery, but I just don't want to get into it. I truly hope that this is something that will just go away and go away FAST. I'm hating it and this.
Well, I have to get going it's almost GYM time. So Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get my anger out somewhere.
Yesterday was Easter and this week my trio is on Spring break. I have to say it was a nice day yesterday, I took the kids to my parents and they had a blast with their cousins and the weather was perfect.
So allot has happened since I last wrote, but not much worth writing about. Last Monday 3/30/15 I added my day care cost back into my gym membership and I am proud to say that I took the kids up there after work and did the same on Tuesday and it felt GREAT. Then of all things that seem to always happen as soon as I join a gym, I got sick. Tuesday I started getting that scratchy, sore throat feeling and couldn't stop sneezing, OMG the sneezing. I started popping Zicam right away, but it did work, I got sick. I have this horrible chest cold and with my asthma having issues breathing especially when I do something that requires heavier breathing (like the treadmill). So I took the rest of the week off and that upset me. On Thursday my new workout shoes (these are the exact ones I got) have arrived and I was so, so excited and cannot wait to break them in at the gym, but sadly haven't been able too. I'm still coughing but I am going to suck it up tonight and take the trio to the gym with me after work and what makes it better is since they are on Spring break this mom got to start work early so I get off work at 4 pm today. My current routine for now is 30 mins on the Elliptical and then 25 mins on the treadmill and then I alternate leg and arm days on the weights, probably about 45 mins on those. I have to admit I love, LOVE working out my legs, so leg days are Mon, Wed & Fri and then arms on Tues & Thurs (I despise working out my arms).
Now on to my total roller coaster ride. As in my previous posts my DH had his Gastric Bypass (Bariatric surgery) on Tuesday 3/31/15 and he was home on Thursday and he's doing well! I truly don't know why I am so pissed, jealous, annoyed, frustrated, depressed about the whole thing. I don't know what I am honestly feeling except for hatred or something. Here is an overview of what is going on in my head. I'm pissed because here I am struggling for 5 years with my weight and I have tried everything from pills, diets, and hard core working out 5 days a week and I have had No, nadda, nothing with success. I actually gained another 30 lbs in the last three months last year. I am pissed at how he hasn't even tried the gym in the 12 years I've known him he went with me for about 2 weeks before he quite. So basically he didn't have to struggle or let me say work hard to try to get healthy. Instead he walks into a clinic and all of sudden he had surgery. Whatever happened to having to spend 3 - 6 months on a diet plan to prove that you can change your eating habits before even being considered for surgery?!?!?! UGH, the anger I feel towards him (or the situation) is beyond words. How is it fair? How is any of this fair, why am I left actually working hard to go no where? Why do I constantly keep doing this to myself? I don't know, I don' t have any answer, I'm confused. Why won't the doctor prescribe me a "magic" pill to help get me moving again. Why, can't I have the energy I use to have? Why, Why? Why won't my DH let me go to the gym and not have make me have this GUILT because he's home alone with the kids, and he's texting me every 15 minutes asking when am I coming home because the kids aren't going to bed? I feel like I don't even care to hear about his results and I just don't care about how much he's lost or what medication you can stop taking. I DON'T CARE!! I'm so pissed because he is getting the easy way out and doesn't have to work at the struggles like we do. I just cry anytime I even look at him, I cry from frustration, anger. I don't know why I feel so resentful and hateful, I don't know why I feel so depressed over this. This first weekend was a game changer and in all honesty it SUCKED. It was so boring and I HATED every minute being home. He can't do anything, can't eat, can't drink for about 2 months (well no sh*t you're going to lose weight, I can do that without the surgery and lose the same amount of weight). We just sat at home and went out walking every 2-3 hours (what a damn BORE). I mean we can't go out to lunch or enjoy a beer or two all because he didn't want to "Work" at his weight loss.
I know, I do want to work at this goal because if I have to struggle or work hard at obtaining it then I will be more grateful for achieving it. There are so many other feelings going on since his surgery, but I just don't want to get into it. I truly hope that this is something that will just go away and go away FAST. I'm hating it and this.
Well, I have to get going it's almost GYM time. So Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get my anger out somewhere.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)