I have a confession.. I am gaining weight!!! I have not gotten on the scale in 3-4 weeks and all because I just don't want to see the number. I know I''ve put on about 5 or so lbs because I can feel it in my clothes. They are fitting pretty tight lately and if I don't get my act in gear then I will have nothing to wear to work. UGH, I seriously just shake my head because there is nothing to blame except for myself. I don't understand how in just one weekend I put on literally 5 lbs ALL THE TIME. I do so good during the week but I haven't lost a thing. Again since I first started this blog I haven't lost much like I did when first starting. Its been probably two in a half years since I've been stuck before 250-260 lbs. I cannot, let me repeat cannot get under 250 for the life of me. It is beyond frustrating. Yes, I Know I need to get the motivation to get to the gym and stay going to the gym. Honestly though I have faithfully (last Fall/Winter/Spring) went to the gym 5 days a week with kids in tow and STILL could not get myself to budge on the weight loss. Changed eating habits numerous times and still nothing. Now with starting back up to working full time I haven't been able to get myself to the gym or shall I say no motivation to go. My work even has a free gym (now if I want to ever spend time with the kids I cannot go after work) I only get a 1/2 hour lunch (so I can leave at a decent time) I do not get into work until 8:30 because I can't drop the kids off at school until 8am. So the only way going to the gym would be possible is to go after the kids are in bed about 8pm.
Oh another disappointing/devastating thing is I decided this weekend to go Thrift shopping (I've seen so many people get the cutest clothing from thrift stores) so I went and they DO NOT have much for FAT people. I thought to myself sure the friends that are thrifting are small & skinny and have a better option of clothing and more styles. I have the choice between mom jeans and mom jeans. The type that come up past your belly button with elastic on the side & back & some have no buttons nor zippers... Yeah, those type of jeans. So as I sit at my desk with my muffin top bulging out of the top of my work pants and my shirt shorter then I want so you can see my volcano of fat flowing (not really, but that's the picture I get). I hate pictures, I hate looking at myself in mirrors I just flat out am ashamed of myself. Something has to give, I have to find something that works for me again and have to do it soon. I'm embarrassed of myself and all that are with me.
So I am going to start tracking on MyfitnessPal again (since it worked before) and really, really start watching my food/beverage (as in beer) intake. I am going to try to get the gym when I can & if I can't (like tonight) I will do my treadmill for no less then an hour. I'm sick of myself and how I feel. Sooo disgusting. I have tried/said I was going to do so much stuff in the past 5-6 months and I have failed. Something has to give and I have to wake up here SOON.
As per my last post, NO I did not get my weeks of meals prepared yesterday nor did we shop for what I needed. My hubby woke me up and wanted to go to breakfast & then shopping right after, at first I said no because I didn't have the list ready & I wasn't going to go, but he kept insisting so I went and he said we'll do the meal planning/shopping next time and just normal shop now. That's my problem is it get put off and then never gets done. Wish my hubby was more of a motivationalist then not. So we went shopping and I put the groceries away and then went to my parents to do their leaves for them and that was a HUGE chore. My body is sore today. Tonight I have laundry to do since we were gone all day yesterday so hence the reason I'm not going to the gym tonight, but I am going to walk/run on the treadmill tonight after the kids are in bed.
Well this fat sloth is signing off. Hopefully one day I can look back at my struggles and laugh them in the face because I conquered my obstacles.
Thank you all!!!
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